Welcome to another edition of Friday Fragments - please visit my friend, the lovely lady Mrs.4444.
I am so not ready for the all-Christmas music all the time radio. It's not even December yet, time is ticking so quickly already. I know I had a Santa sighting last week, but that was in Europe and they're ahead of us, right? Bah humbug.
You know, the Mom who is always here whenever I need her to watch the kids, no questions asked, she's here in a heartbeat? Who also happens to be one of the most difficult people to shop for?
So at the airport, I popped into the duty-free and picked up a collection of tiny Estee Lauder perfume bottles. They were cute, I knew she wouldn't "love" them, but it was the thought. Oh, and I bought a souvenir coffee mug for her too.
When I got home and gave the kids their stuff - I handed her the package.
"Oh, I don't need this mug. I have no room in my cupboard. The last time you got me a mug, it crowded everything and another one came out and crashed and broke. You keep it!"
Okay. Now the perfume.
"I don't wear perfume. You shouldn't have! You know what I did with my old perfume? I use it to deodorize my toilet. Down it goes! You keep it!"
"Mom, why don't you just check them out, and keep the ones you want and I'll take the others, okay?"
"Oh, don't worry, I won't flush these down the toilet, I know they're expensive. Okay, I'll keep maybe a couple."
That's my mother.
The other day hubs and I were talking about the latest headlines. Yeah, we're such a romantic couple that way, with our water cooler talk.
Hubs: "Oh my God, did you read about the woman who had her faced ripped off by a chimpanzee? She was interviewed on Oprah".
Oh yes, at the temple of "O".
Me: "Really? That's horrible. How did that happen?"
Hubs: "Well, apparently she was going to a friend's ..."
And while he was talking, I had this image in my mind of a woman, going to a friend's place, all dressed up ....don't ask me why, so I interrupted with:
"...at a friend's party??!"
Hubs just started laughing. "No, not at a party. What would make you think it was at a party? Her friend has a chimp as a pet or something."
And then we both cracked up at how ludicrous the situation would be with a chimp at a party.
Hubs: "Okay, note to file, no chimps allowed at our next party."
Yeah, we're slightly demented, me in particular.
Good news: No chimps. But seriously, I tried on the party dress that I wore to my first ever company party, oh, about 20 years ago, just for the hell of it. I got the zipper up, and it fit.
Bad news: Not that I could move in it, and there were a few extra folds around the mid-section.
Solution: Get a dress WITH folds in it. Eureka! (I'll have a pic soon).
Also get shoes with bands to match. I'm afraid that I'll sprain my knee again, but they are pretty hot, aren't they?
Thanks Walmart, but no thanks.