Friday, May 30, 2008

"No Baby" Story - Part I and a Fashion Friday coda

Haiku Friday

Ovulating now?
U.F.C. is on tonight
Make 'em swim faster


Edited to add: My oh my, my readers are the SWEETEST! Didn't mean to mislead anyone, but we are NOT going through treatment right now (although about a year ago I thought about it for a millisecond). Our family is just right, and more importantly, my 40+ year old eggs and body and psyche could not handle any of that again. I just found that when we were struggling, we didn't hear enough "success" stories. And we were and are so very lucky that everything worked out for us. THIS is the reason I am sharing this personal tale. So people who may be struggling know that there ARE happy endings. The trip wasn't the most fun, but we couldn't have asked for a better outcome.

Let's continue with what we started...

What’s a couple who have been together for 6 years, married for another two, to do with themselves after all this togetherness? The couplehood of living it up in the city, income from two careers, a house (and mortgage), a couple of vehicles, and the ability to afford a vacation or two during the year. Why, they’re having so much fun why don’t they just add to the party? Let’s create a new improved partay-er of our own! Easy – peasy, right, let’s just hop to it, babymaking is such fun, and the couple, well they’ve been together a while but they’re still young. The time is just perfect.


We had talked about having children, although not so much while we were dating. There was some reluctance from my bridegroom to discuss anything related to commitment until we were past a certain stage in our relationship. More precisely once we were wed and I had him shackled to the ball and chain. At one point, he wasn’t even sure he wanted children (which I knew was just a cop out, as he’s always been so good with kids). But the point of this isn’t to bash the man. Discussions did take place about having a child, and just before I turned 31, we decided that we would go for it.

We threw caution to the wind, and I chucked those pills that I had been taking with the utmost compliance for so many years. I had always been regular with my periods, so I figured that it would only take a couple of months, at the most. During that initial time though, we weren’t so much as trying for, but “not really doing anything to prevent”. Despite our wish to have a family we were quite nervous - after all, parenthood is a huge deal.

I had a very good idea as to when I would be ovulating, knew the proper timing to get jiggy with it. Remember, I was like clockwork. So although we were trepidatious, we still were doing all the right things. For some reason, we thought that would be enough.

The first six months, well, nothing happened, and we weren’t all that concerned. But after the seventh and then eighth, I started wondering. And really dreading a particular time of the month more than I ever had before. Still, we continued on our path, but with a bit more intent. I started taking my temperature (BBT), mapping out my cycles. Began to do some more reading, research about preparing the body, best foods to make the body baby-ready; the man was forbidden to cycle overly much, all that fun stuff. I had stopped drinking (alcohol) since day one (which to people who really know me, and any regular reader of my blog, shows seriousness of the greatest magnitude!). Even cut back on the caffeine somewhat.

Still, by the time I turned 32 – nada, nothing, zilch.

At my annual physical, my doctor asked me how marriage was going, and whether we had any thoughts about kids. I told her how long we had been trying and that I was starting to get a bit concerned. While she herself didn’t think that it had been overly long, given my age, the one year mark was a standard timepoint when couples should start inquiring. So she gave me a referral to an infertility specialist just in case - because the earliest I could see him was months away.

And that’s when the angst really started.


And now for a little levity...

My Fashion Friday posts have been MIA of late, but not for lack of material. Yes, last week I did some shopping again and bought a few too many T's for the summer. I did well, taking only 3 bloody hours - kudos to Spongebob and his companion DVD player for babysitting the girl. Well, we did stay longer only because my sister met us and we had to help with her purchases, honestly. But I couldn't resist it ... I just LOVE Free People:

(images from Free People catalog)

PS: Check here for more inspired haiku's.


wright said...

I completely understand the frustration of not easily being able to get pregnant. It took us almost two years - and lots of doctor's visits. Keep trying - it's so worth it!

Toni said...

Wow. At least there is a happy ending (according to your profile)!

Melissa said...

That was a hard time for us, too. I remember being so frustrated at people who got pregnant so easily and I couldn't. But it all worked out in the end. :)

Nice 'ku.

secret agent mama said...

It'll all work out, Karen.. Keep trying!!

maggies mind said...

Sounds like it worked before, so I wish you the best for another!

amanda said...

it never goes exactly according to plan does it??

ps - thanks for stopping by my dqa meeting :)

Miss said...

Well it looks like I came just in time. I am looking forward to hearing about this!

Thanks for stopping by!

Jillian said...

I know you know that I totally get what you went through and what you are about to go through again. I really hope this time around, it's just plain easy for you both. Lots of luck during this time. Just don't forget to have fun while you're doing it.

I'm here for you. I go today for my first ultrasound. I am excited and nervous that things won't go well. I don't feel pregnant so of course, I'm freaking out. Yes, I WANT to feel sick an achy.

I can't believe I finally get to go after 18 months. I never thought this day would come.

Immoral Matriarch said...

It must be so hard to struggle getting pregnant. It almost makes me feel bad for being fertile, and then getting my tubes tied. :(

Life As I Know It said...

It must have been really frustrating to not get pregnant right away.
I can get pregnant pretty easily, but can't always keep them.

April said...

Again, I think it's great that you're telling your story. Going back to that whole "Perspective" conversation, I love that you're sharing something that we know has a happy ending :)

Kimmylyn said...

I loved reading your journey. And it is a wonderful ending knowing that through all that pain you have your joy.

ps. love free people.

C said...

You guys certainly do have a lovely family, Karen! You, Ian, Liamster and Little G are blessed to have each other! XO

PS. The bowl cut photos we were all talking about is here:

Karen of Sillymonkeez said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen of Sillymonkeez said...

Sorry I had to remove my comment. I accidentally pasted something that was on my clip board which would not have made any sense.

I just wanted to say how great it is that you share your experience with others who are struggling with fertility. I had no idea how many couples actually go through that until we went though it ourselves.

Also, I wanted to invite you to check out a fun new meme starting on Tuesday called "Silly Monkey Stories." It's all about children.

Hope to see you there! Have a great weekend!!!

jennifer said...

After reading the beginning of your post, I know it all works out for you! Thanks for sharing a success story (well at least part of it!)

Anonymous said...

I had a hard time, too. It's great to hear success stories.

Sandy C. said...

I'm sitting on the edge of my seat even though I know there is a happy ending. I applaud your courage in sharing this journey. Since entering my 30's, I'm starting to notice that most people around me are having (or had) fertility issues. I worry that if we do try for another, it won't be so simple now that I'm older.

It just goes to show just how each one of us really are miracles.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

We had about a year head start on you, but for the rest you could have been talking about us.

Very mean of you to stop there though!

Anonymous said...



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