When the boy was about 14 months old we embarked on the "second baby journey". As you’ve probably guessed, it was not to be an easy one.
After an unsuccessful several months of trying haphazardly on our own (no medical intervention) for baby #2 (haphazardly, because everything is a little less organized when you’ve got a busy toddler), I sat down with my doctor and asked her to provide me a referral to an ob/gyn.
The clock wasn’t turning back and I knew we didn’t have much time to waste. (I didn’t go back to my previous specialist, because he was downtown and we had by this time moved to the burbs). (And yes, I'm the queen of brackets.)
Me: “I was so hoping it would be easier for us this time around.”
Doctor: “Why would you think that?”
Me: “Aren’t your chances of conceiving a little better after you’ve already had a baby?”
Doctor: “Well, no. And given your history, it doesn’t surprise me. Why do you want another anyway? Honestly, it was such a hard road for you for your first baby.”
(sidenote: My doctor, who’s my age and has two boys around 12 and 14, is also my parents’ doctor, attended my wedding, and is somewhat of a friend of the family. So she knows EVERYTHING. And she likes to tell it like it is).
This was a really loaded question. Why does anyone want children; more than one child? How many is enough? How many aren't too many? Why did she want her second? Why did I feel I had to answer it anyway? Why didn't I have a smart comeback?
Me: “Well, Ian would be happy with what we have. And I can’t say that I’m unhappy, as the boy brings so much to our lives. But I think it would be nice for L to have a sibling. Someone for companionship, to share life’s load, you know, especially when we’re old and decrepit and need to be cared for. I don’t want it to be all on his shoulders.”
Doctor: “So essentially, you want another kid to take care of you. That’s nice.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s pretty much it. So give me the referral”. (Sarcasm dripping...)
I like to tell it like it is too. (edited to add; snark... a reason, but certainly NOT the prevailing one!)
And so my obsession began. I thought I was so prepared, almost felt like a pro. But actually was still so naive, and had no idea what was in store for us. Who knew it would be more frustrating and even more heartbreaking at times than our first four years at this game?
******
Let's see, it was 2001 ...
20 comments:
I am an only child and I always told myself that I would never just have one child. Then I had one and wasn't so sure until she was 4. Looking forward to hearing more of your story.
"The Queen of brackets"... I LOVE that phrase!
I am the "Queen of the ellipsis..."
Anyway, great stories KarenMeg. Your perserverance is an inspiration to many, I am sure. Can't wait to read more!
I always, always, always knew that I wanted a houseful of kids. It wasn't negotiable with me, even with three hard, hard pregnancies.
I've never pondered those questions before. It does sort of sound selfish to say you want children to care for you, but it's also selfish to say that one brings so much pleasure I want more of that.
And yet, there's nothing wrong with either statement.
Having our children take care of us when we are old is always motivation for more. valid excuse. :-)
Great song too!
I felt the same way once Jack hit that age...why did I want another one - frankly I would still have another one... I can't really express why.. what a hard question to throw at you, I dig your sarcasm Karen it was called for!
And you be the queen of brackets and I be the queen of dot dot dot....
:-)
I can't believe she said that to you! How rude and presumptuous! Seriously, I would have been thinking of comebacks the entire ride back home.
I can't wait to hear the rest of the story!
I would have been more than a little ticked off by that question. Grr.
I always knew I wanted a bunch of kids. I come from a family of 6 kids so 3 still seems small to me. I'm still trying to talk the hubby into a fourth. Whenever anyone asks me why I want more kids I always say, "If you knew my kids you'd want more too". Nothing is better than family. And the more the merrier. :)
I'm an only and I thought I only wanted one. Then I grew up and realized that while be an only child is awesome, being an only adult sucks. I wish I had someone with the shared history of childhood to go through life with.
Awesome song. Looking forward to hearing more about this.
They need a sibling so they can bitch about their mom with someone who understands! (And I'm the queen of exclamation points. :) And stupid happy faces.)
and . . . waiting . . . patiently. For the rest of the story.
Why?
I think it might be mine.
I'm an only child and I may say it was one lonely road.
And yes I can understand why we would want someone to care for us later on =)
I want a 3rd but my dr won't let me :( Baby making can be so darn compicated, uh? Makes you wonder why we used all the damn birth control in the past!
Again, I love your song choices, and I can't wait to read more. (Now that I know it has a happy ending, that is.)
And a BIG thanks for all the bloggie ♥!
i'm the queen of ellipsis, too!!!
anyway...this is a great post!!! why would anyone want more than one child? what does it matter, really. if you do, you do. i have 5. why would anyone want 5 kids? seriously.
besides...i think it's so important for kids to have siblings...for when we are gone. then, at least...they have each other!!!
I always wanted at least two kids but it just hasn't been in my cards. I know the memories that my sister and I have together are so special and I want him to have that too. I can't wait to hear the rest of your story!
I love that you both tell it like it is. How I wish I could speak that way with my doctor :)
I LOVED that song. Now it reminds me too much of someone in the past. *sigh*
Ooh, LOVE the new look of your site. Glad you're continuing this story. I'm an only child and wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I already know that we HAVE to have at least 2 children, don't really know why.
I think we would feel cheated if we just were able to have only one.
Although at this point in time... ;0)
Great track choice (again), and nice new look.
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