Monday, November 10, 2008

Heavy heart

I, along with so many others, was so hoping for a different outcome.

When I first heard of Brandon Crisp's disappearance over Thanksgiving weekend, I was shocked and so worried for him and his parents.

A dispute with your parents when you're a teenager? How common is that?

I remember stomping off from my home when I was about 16 over something really silly. My parents wanted us to spend New Year's Eve with them at their friends' place. I had my own friends, my first boyfriend, and the LAST thing I wanted to do was to spend an evening with my parents' friends' kids instead of my own gang. (Most New Years' my parents would play Mah Jong the WHOLE night, in the basement of their friend's house, so honestly, we wouldn't actually be spending quality time with them --- no matter, if we were good Chinese children we would obey our parents and go with them when they wanted us to, right? I couldn't think of anything worse than spending time with other teenagers who would rather be elsewhere too...).

So I ran off into the night, over to my girlfriend's house. It was pretty late... way past midnight, if I recall correctly. It was cold, I had just taken off without my coat, in tears, running, then gasping and trudging through the streets of my suburban neighbourhood, bemoaning the tragedy that was my life. When I got to my friend's house, although she was out, her aunt was there, so I was able to let off some steam ... she had me call home once I had calmed down. Thank goodness she was there. Come to think of it, I think I ran off a few more times before I hit 18.

An addiction to computer games? I've already seen bits of that in this household, and it is so difficult to set limits. It's hard enough for kids, but for teenagers, young people who think they know everything ... but at the heart of it all are still children.

And this is what terrifies me. My children are still young enough that they pretty much think that everything we as parents tell them, is gospel. There's not a lot of dispute, other than whining about toys they can't have, or having to go to lessons that they're not overly thrilled about at the time. However, I already see signs of a bit of rebellion in my older one; he looks so much older and speaks with maturity beyond his 8 years of age. I don't know if it's because of this that we sometimes afford him a little more responsibility and assume he's more capable than he is. Sometimes we forget that this young man with the size 6 shoe, is still a little boy. I just do not know what to expect from him, or his little Diva sister, for that matter, when they become teenagers.

Brandon's parents, my heart just goes out to them. There was no "big bad wolf" here. I think they did everything most parents would normally do. I know they'll just be re-living their last moments with their boy for the rest of their lives.

The image of that little boy, in that cold field, all alone ... I've been in tears. I just cannot imagine what his parents, sisters, family and community are going through.

God bless you and your family, Brandon. I hope your family finds peace.


Kori said...

I just read that and cried; I have no real anything to offer, just-sometimes life just really sucks.

Miss said...

This is so tragic. So so sad.

Anonymous said...

That one broke my heart too. So sad, and yet such an everyday event in most families. I mean, what kid doesn't run out of the house at some point?

Badness Jones said...

There, but for the grace of God, go we....I've heard a lot of opinions about Brandon and his parents' actions these past few weeks but I have nothing buy sympathy for Brandon's parents. I just wish I had something more than that to offer.

Kat said...

What an absolute nightmare. I just can not fathom it.

gmcountrymama said...

Oh that is so sad. I was such a rebel in my teen years its a wonder I am still alive. I hope my kids have more common sense.

Kellan said...

It is such a sad story. And, you are right - there is no way to tell how our kids will turn out, what they will listen to and what sort of paths they will follow. I often am amazed that I have (so far) raised such great kids and wonder how that happened. They, of course, are not grown yet and I am constantly aware that things can turn in an instant and not to ever take my eyes off of them!

So good to see you Karen Meg - have a good week - Kellan

Kami said...

How awful this whole thing is. My heart goes out to his family. It was just a normal dispute, who knew it would end so tragically.

These sorts of things strike fear into every single parent.

Kimmylyn said...

Oh god..that is so tragic and heart is just as heavy now..

J at said...

Oh, that poor family. My heart goes out to them as well. What a horrible way to end up. And we've all run off at some point, and luckily, most of us come home safely. But hearing these things makes you realize how one tiny thing can go wrong, and then everything is wrong.

Melissa said...

Wow. What a nightmare for those parents.

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