Saturday, December 13, 2008

When two worlds collide

What do you do when "real life" meets "art"? Well, I wouldn't necessarily call my blog art, unless you're talking about my kids' masterpieces, which are the one exception. But if nothing else, blogging has certainly become one of my passions, and better yet, something I discovered in recent times, during my middle years as it were. Uh, yeah ... sigh...

I entered this blogging world full of naive glee. What better way to capture the goings-on in my day to day life, to further explore my love of writing while at the same time creating my own memory book of childhood. My kids' childhood, which is passing by so quickly that at times it seems as if it will just float way and disappear like a helium balloon into the sky ... unless I ground it somehow with words. So I can still feel it in my grasp at the click of a button, as it threatens to fade with each additional inch of height, each new glance of attitude or offhand remark that reminds me that these little people of mine, they won't stay kids forever.

And the wonderful blogging community that I found was so totally unexpected. That anyone would actually read this and come back?! It's become a conversation with a whole lot of really cool people, something this geek-gone-wild would have never imagined in a thousand years.

You guys all know me as one Karen, though. I blog under a pseudonym, albeit a fairly transparent one.

Not that I'm all that different in real life. But only a very few of my real life friends and relatives know about this little place. I've preferred it that way. The freedom of relative anonymity is something sacred.

What do you do when the lines touch?

I was recently interviewed for a piece in a newspaper, a very benign article, but it would be featured nationally (and of course be accessible to the world). I was even willing to be photographed for it. And although I agreed to use my real name, the reporter had contacted me via the blogging community (yes, my blogger friend is so popular that I consider her a community unto herself now ). So I asked whether it would be mentioned that I was a blogger ... and then I had to think long and hard as to whether or not to let her use my kids' names in the article.

There was a part of me that went, "Squeeeeee!!!!! This will be the BEST blog fodder! I can link and this will drive more people to my blog, there will be more bloggy friends, more comments, wow, this will be the most wonderful thing!!!"

But the other part of me went, "Ugh, where am I going with this?"

Because in the real world, I am a consultant in a very, very conservative sector. I really don't need potential, current and past clients reading about my kids' poop, my flat ass or my obsession with BodyJam. Or about my somewhat eclectic take on music, my addiction to blue nailpolish, BCBG, anthropologie, and anything related to shopping. Or especially how peculiar I looked as a brace-faced teen.

So after several frantic phone calls and e:mails to my husband (why, oh why do I stress myself out like this)... I made the decision to ask the reporter not mention the blog, nor my husband, nor the kids' names.

But I'd still be happy to pose for a picture if she wanted. Passive-aggressive attention whore that I am.

In the end, she didn't mention that anyone interviewed was a blogger. And she kept my kids' names out (although in hindsight, that wouldn't have been a huge deal considering my blog was kept out of the equation). And she understood completely the reason for my reticence, even agreeing that it was prudent to keep the two worlds apart, given my situation. After all, Google is indeed one powerful machine.

This little thing, just blown way out of proportion due to my internal neuroses.

So now I'm sure you bloggy geniuses have figured out who I am in real life. Just don't tell anyone, okay?

Oh my crap, here we go again...

8 comments:

Tara R. said...

it is hard sometimes to decided how much to divulge and how much to keep private. For me there is always that question as to whether I have as much anonymity that I think I do.

Badness Jones said...

Not neurotic at all - I think we all get a little conflicted about how much we want to share.

Simon said...

Interesting topic. This is why I keep two separate blogs - one that I keep fairly private concerning family matters, and another, more visible one for exposing the random fluff that blows around the corners of my brain. I never blog about work, although a few (carefully selected) colleagues are aware of my blog, and for the most part my "blog friends" are separate from my existing, "real life" friends, although that's not deliberate. I wonder for how many people the online and offline worlds are completely intertwined?

April said...

I think we all have that moment where we have to decide just how public to take this. So long as YOU'RE comfortable with your decision, that's all that matters.

Beck said...

Well, I haven't figured out who you really are.... blogging privacy is a funny, funny thing.
Most people I know know that I blog and know where to find it, and that doesn't bother me - I'm pretty open in real life, too, and I'm not planning on running for the prime minister's office or anything, so I don't care. But I DO worry about unknown strangers with ooky motivations getting strange ideas about me BUT as my husband says, that could happen ANYWAY.
Still.

Don Mills Diva said...

I was hoping you wouldn't mind me directing the reporter to your blog...she was desperate to talk to someone with kids your age and I figured you would just say no if it bothered you...

Sorry if I shouldn't have...

Kami said...

I have no clue who you are, I really and truely thought Karen was your name!

Your anonymity is safe with me!

I do want to read the article though! But I understand your reluctance to share it here.

Congrats though, that's wonderful that you are getting recognition. You deserve it!

Miss said...

I'm the same as you are. My real name is just an extension of Miss. I try not to use my son's name but if you looked hard enough, its easy to find. There is only one person I try to keep my blogging from and thats the ex so we are not google-able. But I know that if an opportunity like this were presented to me, I'd have the same internal struggle. *hug*

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