Tuesday, April 08, 2008

The Man is away


...so now I can blog about him.

Do you ever wonder when it is that a man becomes “The Dad”? You know, the Dad with the big, booming exaggerated laugh that’s a cross between a “hardy-har-har” and Santa’s “ho-ho-ho”. The father that guffaws at his own jokes? The Dad that uses weird sayings from a much less politically correct time? And he’s not even a grandfather?

I’m trying to figure out that exact moment, because it sort of crept up on us. The other day after laughing together about an article in the paper, I asked Ian if he knew he had the *Dad laugh*. And he confirmed it. Yup. He noticed it himself a little while back during a meeting at work. The booming reverberated in his head.

I always suspected that it would come to this. Even before we had kids, Ian was the guy who would go up to the poor kid who was holding a tray of goodies for his mom conducting a demo at the department store. He would chat with the young man. He’d ask all sorts of dumb questions about the product while the teenager, who sooooo didn’t want to be there on a Saturday afternoon, subtly rolled his eyes.

So this shouldn’t have been unexpected. What I didn’t anticipate was how far it would go.

A couple of weeks ago, while getting the kids to bed, I heard Ian yell for the boy to get off the computer and get his pyjamas on.

Then little G piped up and said “Hurry up goh-goh (big brother); or Daddy’s gonna beat you like a red-headed stepchild!”

Whoa???!!!

Ian couldn’t help but laugh (BOOM-BOOM!!); and then I asked G what she had said.

She answered: “Goh-goh needs to get ready or Daddy will beat him like a circus monkey!” (Note how she changed her answer ?!)

I tried to explain to her that she shouldn’t be saying those things and that Daddy was just joking.

(Disclaimer: Ian has used these choice phrases with the boy from time to time; it’s part of the bedtime routine and they usually end up wrestling a bit. I don't even know where he got these sayings, or if he remembers where he heard them first. He in no way condones beating of any sort, of any child, redheaded or not. Perhaps it stemmed from all the beatings he got from his older redheaded brother? Nor would he beat a circus monkey, for that matter. But I digress.)

Then I further went on to describe how Daddy would never beat a circus monkey, or any type of monkey (he is after all, a proponent of equal opportunity… ) or animal or...



Ian just continued laughing quietly at my feeble attempts to prevent these statements from ever being uttered beyond the confines of this house. Especially by my 39 month old daughter. In any case, the *Dad* has not been using these brilliant words very much since.

I'd prefer that the girlie stick to emulating her mother. After all, it’s so ladylike for a preschooler to acknowledge every fart she hears with a “Lovely, Dad” dripping in sarcasm.

I can just imagine what she tells her preschool teachers.

PS: Whooooo-wheeeee!!!! I just realized that I surpassed my 300th post, without any pomp and circumstance!!! Well, at least I was writing about hip-hop aerobics, another passion along with blogging that I didn't discover until I reached my 40s. You're never too old to discover new loves, I suppose. And that's a very good thing.

25 comments:

JCK said...

While the cat's away...this was a funny post. Especially about the farting. My husband thinks farting is hysterical. Maybe it is, but I'd rather the kids didn't EMBRACE it quite as much...

Congrats on your 300th!

Family Adventure said...

My children live in a time warp, too. They rock out to the Beatles, which I can handle, but when Mike's mother gave them "Little Black Sambo" to read at her house, I was mortified!

Ian's much too charming to be 'grandfather-like'. Just yet anyway :)

Happy 300th, Karen! That's quite the accomplishment.

Heidi

Sadie said...

*lol* I talk about the red-headed step-child all the time. Except it's usually ME. *G*

My girls wander around all day saying "dammeet. dammeet. dammeet." Yeah, I get the 'mom of the year' award for THAT one (yup, they got it from these lips...) - but hey, like I told the teachers at preschool, "At least they're using it appropriately!"

Simon said...

I, too, have recently developed a "Dad laugh". It's very disconcerting. I mean ,it's not like I do it on purpose - it just comes out like that.

Kimmylyn said...

Happy 300th post Karen.. That is amazing!! woot woot!!

I loved this post.. the things my hubby says to the kids keeps me in stitches..

PS..the disclaimer had me rolling..LOL

The Immoral Matriarch said...

Circus Monkey??? LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

THopgood said...

That's too funny! I always joking tell my kids "I'm gonna beat you like a wicked step child!" I said that a few days ago and my 9 year old said to me "ya know mom, you always say that but you never do it! So beat me...go ahead...beat me" I picked him up up-side down and pretended to powerslam him into the ground...yeah I'm sure that story will not go over well with the social services...

April said...

Benefit of single parenting: no dad in the house to be embarrassed by.
Con of single parenting: no one to blame but myself :)

Kami said...

Hee hee, I say weird things all the time too. My kids don't usually repeat them because they are too busy rolling their eyes and their strange mother to remember what I've said. At least that's what I tell myself.

:-)

Happy 300th!

Rima said...

A red-headed step-child? Oh my goodness, that is awesome. I'll have to add it to my repertoire of politically incorrect idioms.

Jenny said...

That is so funny!

My daughter is just starting to really talk, so I'm finding the phrases that I use most often coming from her now.

Have a great day!

Sandy C. said...

What an awesome post :) I love that you waited until he was away! I hope he's someplace without internet connection ;)

Don Mills Diva said...

"Beat you like a red-headed step-child"

Heh.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Congrats on the post #! You go!

I grew up with little black sambo, too. Not because my mom was racist, but because there was a pancake place called Sambos. :)

My poor mom...red hair, and step child. Thankfully, not spanked or beaten.

Weird how we all change and become old and turn into freaky adult parent people, huh?

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Oh, and I forgot to say, to Family Adventure...there's a cool version of Little Black Sambo called "Sam and the Tigers" that she might enjoy. Not insulting, still the story of a smart boy outwitting tigers.

C said...

LOL!!! OMG, Karen! This post had me rolling with laughter! This was some seriously funny stuff!

Your kids are ADORABLE! Little G just cracks me up!!!

Happy 300th post!!! XOXO

bec said...

LOL too funny, Karen! Just where did Ian come up with that? It's funny (or not so funny) when the little ones repeat what we say. Sometimes it's not until I hear the kids repeat something dh or I (but let's just say dh) have said that I realize how pol. incorrect it was. We have a wooden spoon that dh threatens to use on ds when he acts up. It's never been used. Once ds was out of line and dh comes out with the threat, to which ds counters "you're not going to use it on me"..."why not?" dh says. "Because mom is using it to cook now".

bec said...

OH and huge congrats on the post-300 posts mark!!!

Amy said...

My husband would ask questions of the teenagers holding his mom's wares too. You should see the torture he puts the poor lemonade stand vendors though before he purchases anything from them! Note to self: Be on the look out for the booming dad laugh and meaningless albeit offensive sayings.
Thanks for the heads up!

Stacey @Real World Mom said...

LOL! What a great post!

And Happy 300+! :-)

High Heeled Mama said...

Happy 300th! And hilarious post.

Thanks for stopping by my little abode...as a result, I've tagged you for seven random things (oh, I know, I'm horrible!). But it's so hard to pick folks, I had to go with some kind of criteria and mine was recent commenters. Sorry! :) Feel free to ignore.

Laura said...

Congrats on your 300th! I always worried about the things that my kids took to school that they learned from their Daddy. I will never forget the look of mortification on my husband's face when my son came home from school with a drawing of his favorite pastime. The pastime? His father chasing him around the house with his stinky work socks...

BusyDad said...

HAHA! Yeah, those are hilarious at home and mega embarrassing in public! Since my son turned 3, my guy friends and I have taken him to Hooters for his birthday. Of course, he had to tell his Kindergarten class that. In front of his teachers and a bunch of other parents. No wonder I get those "looks" when I pick up my son.

Badness Jones said...

That's hilarious! At least YOUR daughter isn't calling her father, "Mark"....in my exact tone of voice. I'm so ashamed. (After I've stopped giggling enough to come out of hiding, that is!)

BeachMama said...

I love this post. Hubby has one of those laughs too. But, I am more intrigued by the later conversation including the 'red headed stepchild' comment. We get stuff like that from J all the time, which we assume he learns from school. But, how do you stop them when it is so funny you are laughing while scolding them?

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin