Thursday, May 01, 2008

OMG, was that a Pick Up Line?


"How many kids do you have? You don't look like you've had even one, you're so young and slim."

"Thanks, I guess I'm just lucky."

"Well you've got great genes, that’s it, that’s for sure."



Thirteen reasons and/or events that should have warned me that was coming…

1/ I've got a big "L" on my forehead. Seems that for each of the handful of cute guys I managed to go out with in my dating years (including the one I finally snagged), I attracted at least two other strange ones. As in stalker-like weirdos.

2/ I spent a little more time on my makeup before going out the door that morning. Why? Only because my husband noticed when I did on the weekend and asked what was different. Made me realize that I need to take the time to make him notice more often.

3/ Because I was having a very bad hair day, I had put on a cute cap which covered most of my hair and my face. I guess I look better with most of my face hidden.

4/ I was wearing my Vans (which my brother thinks is hilarious) so from AFAR I could have passed for younger.

5/ I was in a good mood while waiting in line (to return a top that G refused to wear) at Winners. A good mood while returning something? Unheard of.

6/ The return counter had five customer service people behind it, dealing with two customers. The wait was inexplicably long. And there were only two people waiting – yeah, me and Mr. Fellow.

7/ I was also in a chatty mood. Was it a solar eclipse or what? I’m never chatty when I’m in the return line. Especially not when the wait is excruciatingly long in an empty store.

8/ I unknowingly took the bait. While Mr. Fellow was joking with me about how long it was taking, he began extolling the merits of the return policy. Seeing as he knew so much about the store, I asked him what he thought of the men’s merchandise because while I’m always shopping for me and my daughter there, I was thinking of shopping for my HUSBAND this time.

9/ After I got my refund, I walked past and said good bye on my way to men’s shirts. Just to be polite.

10/ About two minutes later, Mr. Fellow happened to come by as well and told me there were some good selections in the clearance section. Uh-oh.

11/ I popped over to the boys’ section quickly to check out T’s for the L-boy; then with one in hand headed back over to the men’s clearance area thinking the coast was clear. N-uh-uh. Mr. Fellow showed up again and noticed I had the boy’s shirt with me.

12/ The conversation about my good genes took place. Awkward, how do you respond to something like that to a male stranger? It’s one thing to hear that from another mom, but a strange guy? Radar up.

13/ As I whipped into the girls’ section for a quick look, and hurriedly rushed to the cash (had to pick up girlie) he made another passing comment about my success as a shopper.

Perhaps it was just pleasant conversation. Who knows, as I’m so bad at reading the signs. Or maybe I’m just getting overly suspicious in my old age. And I’m wearing the whole “Desperate Housewife” persona a bit too well these days.

When I told Ian about my day and what had happened, he said, “Well that’s OK.”, in a happy “Neat-o, good for you” tone. Who is he, my cheering section? Probably more likely that he wasn’t listening too carefully to my babbling.

Then he asked me what the guy looked like. And I said he wasn’t ugly or anything, just average, a guy in his 40's. Had all his hair, seemed pleasant enough, just mildly stalker-ish.

Unfortunately he didn't look like this... Or this ...
Or this ...


With my luck, he was probably gay.

{Not that there’s anything wrong with that at all. But if he were, that would mean I really have to take my antennae in to be fine-tuned!!}

[images from people.com]

28 comments:

cynthiaclack said...

ah, just enjoy it! It's fun to be flirted with! Take the compliment.

Nissa said...

Ha! I always attract the stalker guys, too. They don't even seem to care about wedding rings, these days!

If he looked like Patrick Dempsey, though- I just might give the Desperate Housewives moves a go!

Kami said...

He does sound a bit strange to me and if he didn't look like Patrick then what's the point?

;-)

But he's right, you do look great!

OHmommy said...

LOL.... you still have it going on.

WTG!

Family Adventure said...

Trying to pick someone up at Winners?!? Now that's a first :)

Heidi

Meg said...

Enjoy it sweetie...yay for you! You look awesome and obviously have it going on!

Jenny said...

interesting TT.

jennyonthespot said...

Ya know, I just posted about a similar experience (OK, like a week ago... the compliment came from a man in my spin class).

Anyway... just work it girl. Next time (cuz you know it'll happen again...) just say, "Why thank you, I feel young and slim... And by the way, it's not my jeans (not genes), my hot-butt makes my jeans great."

OK, I'm being silly... but just own it, and forget if he was a little strange... maybe you made him feel all silly-in-love and he was so taken he couldn't help but get all blubbery. Maybe. :)

The Immoral Matriarch said...

You've got wonderful taste. :p

LaskiGal said...

OMG--that killed me!!! You know, I'll take a compliment wherever I can get it. I just leave out where it came from--if necessary. Or, a little embellishment will do!

Better than, "Hey, nice walker you got there lady!"

Queen Karana said...

That probably would've made my day... initially. And then I might've been a little weirded out if I kept bumping into him.

C said...

Oh, Karen! I (heart) you!!! You are so cute! I can totally see that happening though. You've got such a vibrant personality...You know, the kind that makes everyone want to know you :)

I'm much the same in that I always seem to attract the wackos out there. I think there's something imprinted on our foreheads that reads "Please, all you crazy people out there, talk to me!!!" ;) Perhaps it's some kind of energy we put out without knowing. The weirdest people seem to pick me out of a crowded subway car and talk to me.

Thanks for the laughs. This was a great post. Even though that guy was a bit of a weirdo, one thing is true...you are indeed a hottie!!!

Anonymous said...

If you see him again give him my number!
Love these posts.
Sue

THopgood said...

Yeah...that would creap me out a little too! Now if he were hot I'd be all over it!

Huckdoll said...

I would be weirded out, too. That said, I attract the random, stalkerish attention almost every time I go out. Or maybe they just think the twins are cute - it's hard to tell sometimes.

Ginaagain said...

Gee.. the last guy that followed me around a store flirting with me was about 70. I'm a little jealous of your stalker...

imaginary binky said...

If that had happened to me, and I whipped around to see none other than Colin Firth doling out compliments... holy cow. Phil would be a single father.

Heheh. I just kid. Sort of.

Madame Rubies said...

You still got it, girlie. :)

Karen said...

Well good for you! I can't even get the freaky-weird guy at the gym to look at me, and he stalks every woman.

Amanda (Shamelessly Sassy) said...

hahaha! Some strangers are creepy.

drowninginlaundry said...

OK THAT was Funny! I never have the luck of cute ones hitting on me either. Heck I would even enjoy a gay man hitting on me at this point!

I tell you, you can get into some strange situations in a Winners store.

Kimmylyn said...

Let me not even say the weirdos that I attract.. but I love the neat-o voice.. I totally got the tone of voice..hahaha

And thanks for the Clive/Patrick shots.. so yummy.

BusyDad said...

That's great! haha. Baseball cap = fun gal. That's how a man sees it. If it was just the conversation in line, I'd say he was just flirting. Following you throughout the store? Annoyingly flirting.

It must be fun though. I never get hit on, except by gay men. Never by hot moms.

Sandy C. said...

*sigh*

The last person that hit on me was 2 year old asking for a fruit snack :(

You still got it goin' on girl!

When this happened to me (in my finer pre-baby state), I would tell hubby my diamond ring wasn't big enough :D

Anonymous said...

I agree with most of the previous comments. Karen-you're vibrant, fun, have great style and have an energy that radiates that would make people want to talk to you. Oh and you're young and slim and don't look like you've had even one (child)..haha...see now I'm doing it.

Enjoy! Albeit it sounded a bit awkward/strange/stalkerish, the guy was being honest. As jennyonthespot said, just work it girl and own it!!! Enjoy!!!

bec said...

Oops above comment wasn't meant to be anonymous. It's me, IRL gal pal, Bec.

Don Mills Diva said...

That is aweome - you yummy mummy you!

April said...

I'm w/ the commenters who said to just enjoy it. No harm, no foul, right?

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