Friday, May 29, 2009

The one where I don't want you to cry...

We celebrated my Mother's birthday tonight, with a special dinner at a special venue* and, for something completely different...no grandkids.

Different, for sure.

Things are different for all of us, but especially for her.

*****

Last night I heard some soft sobs coming from upstairs. My mommy radar was up, and I immediately dragged the little one up with me to see what was going on with her brother.

I stepped into my bedroom and saw my little boy wrapped in a tight hug with his Dad. Crying his heart out.

When my boy found out that he wasn't going to be at the restaurant, he asked about the venue. He found it interesting that my sister had picked it, and that it was somewhere that his Grandma would NEVER have chosen. She would have suggested a Chinese restaurant, or Swiss Chalet. And Grandma was always the one who chose for the grandparents' birthdays. The grandson knew his Grandma well, in fact he knew both his grandparents so well, because he was in their care while Mommy was at work until he was three years of age.

That's a lot of quality time with his grandparents. And that was a reminder of a lot of future time he won't have with his Granddad.

It's okay to cry when you're sad. I wanted him to know that, and he turned to me and we cried together. But I also reminded him that his Granddad was so proud of him, that he was so loved by him, and that he was lucky to have had the time with him. That Granddad is in a much healthier, happier place.

So the tears were dried. And they are not coming again today.

Because it's Grandma's birthday, and tears on someone's birthday is bad luck.


*****

There is much to celebrate about my Mother. I did a much better job telling you about her last year.

I continue to be in such awe of her amazing strength and attitude. She just soldiers on, and in many ways, is much busier than when Dad was here. She's making her own way around by taxi and bus (a scary proposition because we're not exactly sure just HOW bad her eyesight is)...appointments, lunches, visits to the museum, visits with friends, a couple days taking care of my niece, working out every night, joining a choir and then in her spare time watching her Chinese soap operas. Oh, and she's working on a couple of real estate deals.

Did I mention that she's 72 today?

With the attitude and energy of a 27 year old.

I'm still hoping that I inherited half of that stamina.

Happy, happy birthday Mom.

(*I used to tell the person who designed it that when you flush, the toilet water comes back through the tap - and she believed me. After all, what are sisters for?)

16 comments:

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Oh dear.

Take care of yourselves today.

Tara R. said...

Such a sensitive young man, so touching. I hope your mother has a wonderful celebration.

Cheryl said...

Have a wonderful day..birthdays are special and should be celebrated with smiles and fun..
Your boy is much older and wiser then his years!

NicEmMOM said...

I know exactly how you feel, 9 years ago my dad passed away, never to meet my 2 girls, in person that is, but I know that he touched them somewhere else before they came to be part of my life. My oldest makes faces that Dad did and has the bluest eyes (hubs & I both have brown) like Dad. Both girls have spent time with my Mom until this past December... Now Em "keeps Grandma company" on Fridays. She turned 81 in December. I think women from that generation are so self reliant that there is NOT much that can take or keep them down! God Bless your Mom and kudos to you for asking her and your Dad to help set the standards for your little one's values and life! God Bless!

Kori said...

You are such a strong, amazing mom, woman, and I feel honored to be able to share parts of your life. There are no words to comfort, so i will say a happy, happy and blessed birthday for your mom.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Happy Birthday to your wonderful mom, and what a sweet son you have. Sounds like you handled it just perfectly.

Midwest Mommy said...

Happy Birthday to your mom! She sounds like an amazing person.

OHmommy said...

Your mom sounds amazing. I hope her spirit is infectious via the internet. I need some of her stamina.

melscolorfulmetaphors said...

Hope your night with mom was great. Happy bday to her!

Badness Jones said...

Happy birthday to your mommy, and be GLAD that she's making her way around by bus and taxi, my MIL is the same age, we KNOW how bad her eyesight is, and she won't give up her car.

Hugs to all of you today, and you really did win the lottery with that boy.

Noah's Mommy said...

Oh Happy Birthday to your mama...and I'm so sorry for your loss...I feel for your boy...It's hard when you are young...to understand...Thanks so much for coming by on thursday on my feature day...I'm so glad you did

Life As I Know It said...

wow - that's got to be tough. Happy Birthday to your mom, who sounds like an amazing woman.

bj said...

Hi, I posted once here but it didn't appear..pls. excuse if it shows up twice..
I am about the same age as your mom..give her a hug from me.
I'm just over from SITS..have a great day..

Tooj said...

I sincerely hope that your celebration went wonderfully and that your son was able to find good thoughts to bring his spirits back up. Your family sounds delightfully "together" and I love that.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Your mom sounds incredible. Hope you had a good night.

Beck said...

:/
There's comfort in knowing that you're raising a deep feeling young man, but it's still so sad.

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