Visiting the motherhood in 80 clicks

The whole time we were going through our infertility struggles, I remember sitting down at various points wondering what it was that drove me to want children so, so badly. It seemed almost obsessive, my drive to become a mother. Bringing me to the brink of insanity, sometimes, the frustration of it all. But I never found a good answer.

I was never one of those 'aw, coochie-coo' ing type of people growing up. Babies were cute, but I didn't necessarily need to have them in my arms. Admiring from afar was fine. Babysitting was a means to an end for me; I'm sure I corrupted many a youngster in my care with bad TV or inappropriate musical fare.

I suppose I'm a lot like my mother in that respect. While she loved and still loves each and every one of her own children and grandchildren, she's just pragmatic about all the rest. A labour and delivery nurse and trained midwife, she could lull a crying baby in half a second, but babies and kids were just part of work. Or in her words, just a lot of work.

Now that I've been a mom for almost NINE years (how in the world did THAT happen?), I can't say that my progeny will not be corrupted with bad reality TV or questionable selections from my iPod. Being a mom is not all about running through the fields and playing hide and seek amongst freshly laundered sheets, singing happy songs during circle time ... there are both good times and bad. But I wouldn't trade it for a second. Not a one.

So in celebration of all things good in the motherhood, I've decided to join the travelling caravan of blogging moms around the world, launched at Her Bad Mother. I share herewith, five things that I love about being a mother :

1/ I love that when I stroke my daughter's face, in awe of her white as snow, soft skin, her doe- eyes turn to me, she throws her little arms around my neck and she whispers "I love you mama" in my ear.

2/ I love that for every moment like this (and this is only 7 seconds, folks, I had to endure 10 minutes of contrived drama):


there are about five more like this:


3/ I love the squeals of wonder when they wake up Christmas morning to see that cookies left for Santa have been devoured and the stockings are stuffed with new little goodies.

4/ I love our good night kisses, the heart-felt "I love you too. See you in the morning"s. And how they usually pass out within three minutes.

5/ I love the Sunday morning snuggle in our king sized bed. We are sleepy, we are fuzzy, we are cozy. We are loved.

I sometimes wish that I could just stop time and capture these wonderful childhood moments in a bottle. That there were some way to savour them time and time again. I know things will change, the children will grow. I only hope that they will always know that the love that their mother holds for them knows no bounds.

*****

And now for the tour... I ask you to visit some other Canadian blogging moms: a new mom, blogging pal C of Random Thoughts & Musings at Manitoulin Island, and newer blogging friends at The Petite Gourmand and Blog like no one is reading.

A couple of moms from the US: Donna at Spuddy Buddy and Domestic Goddess in Training at Love, Laughs and Lice

And a couple of moms from overseas: Etc, Etc, Etc, the lovely Debbie from Japan and tiff and her beautiful family in Australia.

Enjoy.

Answer Period - the Finale

We're back with the final installment of "500th post and then some and it IS all about ME, ME and ME"...(All the questions were fantastic, by the way, and Episode 1 and Episode 2 are just clicks away.)

13/ From Kat: What was the best compliment you ever received?

Well, I guess "Your ass looks great in those jeans" doesn't really count. I'm so shallow, I know.

All kidding aside, during one of our last private talks, my father told me that he and my mom pushed me so hard to excel in school, to take all those lessons when I was young, only because they knew I could do it, and that I could handle it. They wanted the best out of me. He told me that looking at me as an adult, he had clearly succeeded. That, coming from my Dad, was THE absolute best compliment in the world.

14/ From katie/motherbumper: What is your biggest pet peeve?

It has got to be driving related. I cannot stand it when people brake unnecessarily; forget to signal a left turn, or for that matter, forget to signal at all. I'm just anal that way.

15/ From Laskigal: BEST piece of advice you WISHED YOU WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED?

So many pieces of advice from my mother come to mind, which leads me to admit that yes, mother does tend to know best.

The ones that stick in my mind are:
a) don't get so serious about one guy when you're a teen and do not date exclusively. Just hang out with friends, guys included, and when the time is right, after your studies are under your belt, then start looking for Mr. Right. Who may very well be amongst those friends.

b) when choosing a china pattern for your wedding registry, go with ALL WHITE! That way, when you're in a position to use your china, you will actually use it rather than leave it in the cabinet because you fear it's too darned formal and you're not serving dinner to the Queen.

16/ and another bonus question from Laski: . .. who would you want to play you in the movie version of your life? Why?

Hmmm, nowadays there are so many Asian actresses I could choose from, why there's
Gong Li (so beautiful, so talented);
Lucy Liu (also beautiful, talented, and Charlie's Angel)
Ziyi Zhang (fierce in Crouching Tiger; gorgeous as a Geisha)
Sandra Oh (gorgeous, talented, AND Canadian)

but, I think I'd have to go with Lindsay Price. You see:

a) she's Asian (well, mixed, but I've been told by many people that I can look mixed);

b) she's not a bad actress. She may not be in the same acting leagues as some of the others, but she's got that fashionista, bit of a scatter-brain-dip-but-smart-when-she-needs-to-be quality about her, at least in her current character. (I'm not holding 90210 against her);

c) she's got a nice rack and a non-flat ass and she's totally hot the way I'd want to be;

d) and finally, on Lipstick Jungle she plays the fiancee of a billionaire named Joe played by Andrew McCarthy.

Yeah, that's the real reason. Because Andrew was my 80s crush. Which also works because guess what, when I asked this question of the hubby, he said he'd want Andrew McCarthy to play him. Because we thought he sorta resembled him in a mulletish, skinny-white-guy way while we were in the 80s. And delusional.

Aren't we a cute couple?



17/ From OHMommy,: What attributes to do you love most about each child?

I loved this question.

For my boy, there are so many things that I love, especially when he's not being a mope. He's funny, cool, but what I love most about him is his affectionate nature, his empathy and consideration for those around him. He's always been mature for his age, but these qualities cannot be taught. He's been like this since birth, and I find it utterly amazing. The little things he does everyday demonstrate this, but there's one example that really sticks out in my mind.

My son's last visit with his grandfather was in the hospital. The fact that he came with me knowing how sick his Granddad was, and how sad it made him feel, already made me so proud of him. We took a break for lunch and I brought him downstairs to the sandwich shop. He didn't want a drink until after his lunch, so I gave him cash to go get the drink once he was done. I told him he could keep the change. He pocketed it to decide what he wanted to do with it later. There were vending machines and I just assumed he would eventually get himself a candy bar.

At the end of the day, we went to pay for parking. It was so frigidly cold outside. There was a homeless person with an empty coffee cup in hand standing just outside the shelter. My boy turned to me and asked, "Mommy, can I use my change for anything?" And I replied, "Of course."

He took the change he had been saving all day from his pocket, and plunked it into the coffee cup. The woman was quite astounded, and said "Thank you sweetheart"... and then told me that I had a very special kid. Special indeed.

Now my daughter, she is very different from her brother, that's for sure. She certainly is loving, but it's on her terms. Not as outwardly affectionate as her brother, but fiercely protective of those she loves. The attributes I really admire about her are her independence, her perseverance and her ambition.

Yes, she did only just turn four.

I know these words will come to haunt me one day, but her determination and her unwillingness to give up lead me to believe that these qualities will take her very far. Even as I'm typing this, she's sitting next to me going over all the books her teacher gave her to read over the March break. She read them all in one sitting. Because she wants to be smarter than her brother.

I just hope that she gives me a break every once in a while during her teens. I'm already bracing myself.

*****

And that's all she wrote.

Thanks again for indulging me, and for your continued support in feeding this crazy addiction of mine.

Onward to the next 500...
(images from IMBD.com)

*****

And then there's the giveaway over here...

Answer Period Part 1

Post 500!

As promised, here are my mediocre answers to your brilliant questions. Now because I tend to be quite long winded, I've decided to split this post up, in order to give your scrolling finger a break.

So grab a cuppa and here we go...

1/ From Domestic Goddess: I guess my question is which post is your favorite? Anything stick out?

Me: This is a tough one, as I do have a few that come to mind.

When I first started blogging, it was about the kids, here there and everywhere, always about the kids. This was a place for their fun stories, a spot to capture all the little milestones that I can still look back on. But the blog became more about ME. As I became more emotionally vested, and I began writing more from the heart, I was able to post more meaningful pieces.

Almost a year ago I wrote about the boy next door. I still think about this post from time to time because it's not one of my typical "look what my kid just said, hardy-har-har" moments. It gave me pause to think about what a huge responsibility it is to be a parent. I haven't seen him much in the last year, so as an update, I still don't know what happened. His parents are still the fine neighbours they've always been, so I'm assuming that things settled down.

I'm glad this question was asked again so I'll link again in the next round. There are some other nuggets that I managed to spit out when I had super blogging mojo. Hopefully more "real" posts will surface again soon.

2/ From Busy Dad: what was your favorite toy growing up?

Me: Okay, this was supposed to be easy, right? Let's see, maybe it was this...

Just kidding, I'm neither that ancient nor that mathematically inclined.

I did love board games and think I owned every Milton Bradley/Hasbro cardboard box ever created in the 1970s. Payday, Masterpiece, Sorry, Monopoly, Clue...

3/ From Mrs. Mogul: Hmm what is arrowroot made of?

Me: Lots of addictive ingredients apparently.

4/ From my old friend Knatolee (well, she's not old, but she's longlost from my teens and I just discovered that she is also a blogger) : if you could live anywhere in the world (with your loved ones, of course), would you still live where you live now?

Me: Probably not. I've been living in the same general area for most of my life. Not to say it's boring, but as I get older, I realize there's so much more of the world to see and experience, and live. It's funny, when we first got married, my husband was the one who had some wanderlust, thinking and dreaming about living in far away lands, and I was always reluctant to pick up and move. Now that we have our own little family unit, if there were opportunities elsewhere, as long as the schooling and healthcare were decent, I'd be a lot more open to it.

4b/And how do I get a following like yours?

Me: A following? Uh, I don't know about that ... I'm flattered. I am most appreciative of the readers that come back here more than once, and there are some great blog friends that I've made in the last couple of years. People that I feel like I know, and have gotten to know that much faster than if we'd met face to face (remember me, right, the quiet one?).

There is so much fantastic reading out there, I could spend days just staring at the screen (and have been guilty of that more than once in a while). Although I started this in 2005, I really kicked it up a notch with NaBloPoMo in late 2007 - early 2008 and visited a lot of blogs, bloghopping, commenting tons, participating in blog carnivals, dipping into the social networking thing. Honestly, it's a lot of work and a time suck to put it eloquently. And the time spent on my posts, editing, picking apart, perfecting... it's insane.

But I love it. No matter how many times I've turned my back on it in the last few years, taken blog holidays, I've always come back. And I am beyond thrilled when I have new readers and develop new blog friendships, which continues to happen even to this day. I used to have "petit-morts" anytime my comments numbered above 20, but nowadays it's not so much about how many comments but what they are, and how I feel after I've completed a well-written post.

5/ From Yo Momma: would you rather be in between an Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt sandwich or a Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhall (however you spell his last name) sandwich?

Me: Girl, you ARE a perv, and a riot!

I'd definitely prefer to be Reese's peanut butter cup/spooning with Jake. Angelina and Brad are just too pretty for me and they've got too many kids who just seem to swarm around them all the time... even with their individual nannies around.

And have you seen how BUILT Jake is, um, yum... (okay, I'm simmering down now ...).

6/ From Melissa: what is your earliest childhood memory?

Me: A good memory - tinkering away on the piano in the basement, then hopping on my tricycle for a little ride before going upstairs and following my Mom to the ice-cream truck outside.

A not so good memory - bawling my eyes out at 3, getting wrenched from my Grandma's arms and put on the schoolbus to Chinese school for the day, with my flat polyester pillow and lunch box in tow.

6b/ if you could change one thing in your past, what would it be?

Me: It would be to go to university away from home. Ironically, of the schools that accepted me, I chose the one that I could commute to from home, the only school that gave me zero scholarship. My parents didn't want me too far away, and my boyfriend at the time stayed local. It's stupid, what puppy love can do.

I think it would have been a great life experience to actually live on my own, a rite of passage which I really regret not having had. I hope that when my kids get to that stage they won't be afraid to venture further...I may not like it, but I think it's an important part of growing up. Although I think I still turned out okay.

*****

So that's it for Part 1.

I'm still open to more questions (this is great blog fodder, do you think I can keep this up for the year???). Feel free to just let 'em rip.