Wordless Wednesday -Squeeee!!!

Happy Valentine's, Friend...

(that's for you, my virtual friend, your Valentine treat bag...)

I don't know about you, but Valentine's Day for me is just like any other day. It doesn't mean that I appreciate my husband any less, but we find it too commercial, and if anything we're almost "anti"-Valentines. Maybe we're too practical, maybe we're too old ... the wine and roses can be enjoyed by those going through courtship, and that's just fine. If the truth be known, I've seen so many flowers recently and all they do is fade, lose their glory, and get tossed.

Oh boy, this is quite depressing.

But I'm not trying to be.

I sat at the kitchen table yesterday, putting together over 40 bags of Valentine's treats for the friends' celebrations at school today, I was thinking "this is so NOT me". I'm not crafty, I don't always relish the stay-at-home gig. As I was tying the ribbons and then curling them, Ian asked what I had done all day. And to be honest, I had to think about it...and then I realized that I'd gone to get gloves to replace the one that I'd lost, then stopped to get some juices and groceries, and finally to the party store to pick up bags for the treats. Then I picked up the girl from school, delivered her best pal home, took her home to lunch, brought her to a playdate, then came back in time for the boy's guitar lesson.

Mundane, I know. But exhausting nonetheless. Then hubs noticed what I was doing, and asked me whether it was worth all that effort. I almost screamed, "Of course it's worth it! The kids love it, it's important to celebrate friendship, blah blah blah....!" And he backed off. (He doesn't realize the intense pressure to keep up with the other moms for the best treat bag on the block. Seriously, at the holiday party, one of the moms, a lovely lady, took it to a whole new level with her gingerbread man shaped cheese sandwiches and cheddar stars ...).

While I don't like the commercialization of romance, I have no problem with the Valentine concept of celebrating friendship.

(So where is this all going? Oh yeah, back to Valentine's day. This is somehow coming back to the man...)

I think that the key to a good marriage is friendship. My husband is my best friend. He started out as a friend, before all the flirting and passion, there was the fun and the getting to know each other as people. As individuals.

I attended a high school reunion get-together last weekend. I had known about it for a while, but really didn't have any interest in attending. But because of recent events, I suppose it was natural for me to be feeling nostalgic, for me to look back at a time when I was younger, to a time when my parents -- my Dad, was very much a part of my life.

I wasn't sure whether people would remember me. Not only because I look so different now, but also because my last years of high school were spent as the female half of a couple that was conjoined at the hip. We were stuck together like glue... and I was one of those annoying girls who melded her personality and changed it to suit what her boyfriend wanted. Or what she perceived he wanted her to be. Such huge self-esteem issues at such a young age. Not unusual for a 16 or 17 year old. But sad, really.

It's hard for me to look back on that now. And I'm obviously no longer with my highschool sweetheart.

But my husband encouraged me to go to the function, meet up with old friends, and perhaps make new ones. He has always been like that with me. Encouraging me, supporting me, telling me to expand new horizons (and in this case old ones), and not to be nervous or fearful. Having confidence in me. A wonderful friend.

So I attended with my girlfriend; like old times we walked into the party alone, scanning the room for familiar (or almost familiar) faces. Most of the crowd I hung out with are no longer in town, but we found some old classmates, got busy catching up and before we knew it we had been there over three hours. It was fun and it felt good. Because even the people who remembered me however remotely, they talked to me ... about me.

And so this Valentine's Day, I salute all my friends, and give my deepest love to my most important friend of all, my husband, my lover, my partner.

Happy un-V-day hubs - I'll pass on the flowers but sharing the vino will be great...

Wordless Wednesday - Winter Wonderland

Of family, friends and fate at the fair

So how was your weekend?

I'm happy to say that ours was pretty good. Our regular workout on Saturday AM, followed by dinner at friends; then a lovely Sunday with perfect weather for a fall fair. It took a bit of convincing to get our 8 year old teenager out of the house, but I told him, "We are going to have some family fun time and you ARE going to enjoy yourself." For some reason, Ian seemed to find that quite hilarious. I think what sealed the deal was that baby cousin J would be meeting us there, and she's always a huge draw for the kids.

First stop at the fair - the Dora and Diego meet and greet. Unfortunately we got there just as they closed the gates to actually shake their hands. But the girlie had fallen asleep in the car, so was groggily satisfied with the waves they gave her. Especially once she saw the pony rides.

The ponies were adorable. And lo and behold, taking place just adjacent for the boys' viewing pleasure -- pig races. The girlie's turn came up and I seated her comfortably on her little miniature pony. Once settled, I looked around for the keeper of my critical blog equipment (ie. camera). And there he was, his back to me, watching the pig races and hooting encouragingly at the pink little buggers while I was unsuccessfully trying to get his attention.

I called once. No response. I tried a second time with more urgency - nada. The Dad one pony over was watching me with a grin on his face as I tried a third time with a little more volume... and then a fourth. Nothing. The next-door Dad was now chuckling. Finally, as we were quickly in danger of missing a precious photo-op before we started the pony circuit, I pulled out my loudest gutteral hag voice and screamed "IAN!!!!" at the top of my lungs. He looked at me with the most annoyed "WTF" gaze, but it did the trick. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

Check it:


The rest of the afternoon was spent observing award winning pigs, hens, roosters, rabbits, cows, sheep, goats ... and admiring baby chicks, piglets and the like. Then there were craft exhibits, magic shows, wild animal shows...fire-eating buskers, silver Elvis statues who could move. They had everything. We were trying to convince the boy that we should stay for the Monster Truck finale ... but it was getting close to dinner and he had homework to do. And the kids were tired. So we headed back to the car.

Unfortunately, we had to pass by the merry-go-round on the way to the exit.

"Hey, I want to go on the merry-go-round!!!! I want to go now!!!" from the thrasher-formerly- known-as-the-girlie in her stroller.

Ugh.

Off the Man went to pick up some tickets while the Boy whined about the unfairness of it all. Was this how the lovely day was going to end, in misery?

While trying to placate a writhing, tantrum-ing 3 year old, and making sure the 8 year old wasn't planning to track his father down, I peered across the sea of heads trying to ascertain which among them belonged to my husband. And out of the other corner of my eye, I saw this family, a tall blond fellow, with his wife and cute little blond boy in tow. Something was familiar about him and his boy, but it was the sight of his wife that struck me the most. She was gorgeous, her hair a brilliant shade of dark auburn shining in the late afternoon sunlight. And I said to myself, "I KNOW her!"

I yelled "Kelly!!" And she looked up at me, obviously puzzled because she'd never seen nor heard me before in real life. So this was likely as strange for her, as it was for me. (After all, I don't normally go around yelling at strangers, although I did spare her my gutteral hag version.)

"It's me, Karen" and I went up to her as if I'd known her all of my life.

Because this wasn't just any Kelly. This was the awesome Don Mills Diva. We've been trying to hook up for months now. With our husbands' work schedules being so busy, her starting a new job (and me too, for that matter) it was looking like we might not swing things until even later in the year.

But thanks to serendipity, we'll hopefully have that drink sooner rather than later.

And that was the perfect conclusion to our day at the fair.

April Shower

I attended a bridal shower on the weekend. It was wonderful - an all afternoon feast of Armenian and Italian food, music, culture and fun. I think I will have to fast the day before the wedding to make sure I have room to enjoy what promises to be a fabulous reception.

The bride used to work for me. She inherited me when I came back from my first maternity leave. We'd only met a couple of times before, and apparently I made her nervous for weeks before my arrival. Fancy that! I was her first manager in her first job out of university. And here we are, eight years later and she’s getting married.

Along with being her boss, we got on fabulously as friends. We got quite close both professionally and personally. I am so proud of how well she’s done in her career, but then I saw early on in her, the quiet, shy confidence that I knew would blossom at some point. Reminded me of someone I knew way back when (who would grow up to be dragon-lady boss, apparently ;). We discussed our relationships. I shared with her some of my own trials and tribulations. Some guys are just a lot harder to get to the altar for whatever reason. But they are worth the wait. My guy happened to be one of them (I’m airing this for the whole www; and he’s not even AWAY this time!). For whatever reason, we were a bit of an inspiration to her that things could work out.

At the shower, I was sitting next to a pretty young woman. She lamented a bit that she wasn't currently seeing anyone. I did the annoying older woman thing, " Hey, you should have the bride set you up (what, am I a freakin' grandma now?!)". To which she replied, "Are you kidding, I've been trying, and we've been having NO luck!".

I found out through conversation that she's doing well in her career, has a car, her own condo, and she's very well-travelled. I told her that she should be all set then, any guy would love her. Funnily enough, she said that her situation hinders her rather than helps... a lot of guys are intimidated, and don't like that she's so headstrong and independent. Some are looking for another mother (ick). The singles' scene is so difficult once you're out of school. She's still looking for her Prince Charming. I told her not to seek a Prince, not to look too hard because once she stops trying so earnestly, someone will come along. I really believe that.

I don't think I was ready for marriage until I came to the realization that Ian wasn't my Prince Charming. He didn't want to be. Rescue me, from what? Too much pressure. Life isn't a fairy tale. Sure, he was hawt and everything, but a long-term relationship takes more than hotness. Heat fades (heated floors for the kitchen do help), but if you're lucky, that initial spark can evolve into a real, long-lasting partnership.

At the end of the shower, the groom came by and delivered to his bride a lovely bouquet of roses. Handed it to her with a kiss. That was such a sweet gesture; they looked so happy, so ready to embark on this journey called marriage. I had to smile.

We're coming up to our 15th wedding anniversary this summer. I don't get roses anymore. I don't need them. Don't get me wrong, I still love romantic gestures. But my guy re-arranges his busy business trip itinerary this morning, in order that he can fly home in time to stay with the kids. Just so that I can attend my Tuesday night gym class. Because he knows how much I love it and how important it is to me.

Call me a sap, but I think this is true love. Maybe I'll have to grind some flaxseed for his cereal now.

Ain't senior love sweet?

Snapshots of a girlie date

G and her best friend A are having a very girlie playdate today. Kindred spirits these two are, since the day they met just over a year ago. My sister thinks it's so funny that little G has a best friend already - it is rather darling.

I brought the girls home after their play program this morning, as A's mom Bec had an appointment. They were so excited, to be together in one car for a change, side-by-side in my cluttered family room on wheels. They giggled the whole way.

Who's on First:
A: "Karen, what's your name?"
Me: "It's Karen, silly ..."
A: "G **, your mommy's name is Karen. My mommy's name is Mommy."
G: "No, your mommy's name is Becca. My mommy is Mommy."
A: "G , what's your name ..."

The Reluctant Houseguest
G: "A, do you want to come to my house?"
A: "No."
G: "But A, you love my house."
A: "Okay."

Someone watches too many Backyardigans reruns
We get home and the girls take off their shoes and socks right away. G brings her best friend to her bedroom and comes down with a hairclip. After she makes me clip it to her hair, she takes a big bow and says "I'm Queen of the Nile". The girls run off again laughing.



Sugar and spice and everything nice.

BFF's Part Deux

In all the baby excitement of this past week, I didn't get an opportunity to post about another exciting event - meeting up with two of my Blog Friends, the mommanista and Curiosity Killer! It was a great girls' lunch date - would have been better if other buddies (both blog and in person gal pals) Dina and Danielle and blogsister Chrissy could have made it too. But Chrissy's a bit far on the Island, and the others have one-year olds, which can be a challenge at lunch time. I brought along my rugrats, who were fairly well-behaved. For Liam, have Nintendo DS, will travel; little G was napping at first, then woke up but didn't eat anything except her requisite milk. CK spoiled us with the lovely biscuits she brought all the way over from Hong Kong.

I feel like I've known these girls forever even though it's only this year that we've been communicating through blogging; ironically through cyberspace, certain walls come down and I feel compelled to share things that in real-time would likely take years to divulge. It was a bit of a challenge to explain to Liam who these ladies were and how it was that I met them through blogging. I'm trying to be so careful these days with him because he is at the age where he's interested in e:mailing and playing online games. And I don't want him getting into the whole "chatroom" phenomenon. But then, I had already met girlfriends in these ladies' network on "mommydates" so I felt they weren't exactly strangers.

I suppose I've always had an interest in meeting other people through the written word. When I was in 6th grade, I started writing to penpals, and at one point had about a dozen of them. I had a few in England, a few in the U.S. and western Canada, Japan (always got the cutest stationary from them, and was first exposed to Hello Kitty way back then); a couple in South America. I corresponded with my very first penpal until we were in our late teens. I always thought it would be neat to meet a penpal and actually did the one time when I was 16. It was a fellow from the UK who was visiting friends in Toronto - he was about 19, and my parents were nice enough to have him over for dinner. It was the first I'd ever seen anyone drink a WARM beer. He was nice enough, but we sort of lost touch after that visit. The one penpal I regret not meeting in person was a fellow from Sao Paolo, Brazil. I remember he sent me a really pretty bracelet, and I almost flipped when he sent me his photo. He was over-the-moon cute, and at around 14 years of age, that was a major priority for me.

But gal-pals are definitely safer. The mommanista and I had already had a shopping date back in spring with our little girls (fantastic; she is an amazing shopper!). CK is a pal all the way from Hong Kong; who according to Liam "didn't have any accent - her English is pretty good Mom!". He didn't realize that CK pretty much grew up in Toronto and NYC! It was so nice to get together face to face, have some laughs and get to know each other better in person.

So, I was a good girl and brought my camera - but in my haste left the memory card at home! Not as professional as my friends who had their blogging hardware handy. Photos were of course taken, by my budding photographer L-boy - so I'll have to rely on my BFF's to blog on their spaces so I can link-ya over there for the proof!

* Blog Friends Forever

BFF's *

We've been home for a week now and after listening to little G wake up every day pining and whining for her best buddy Abby, we finally got our schedules in sync and today were able to connect with Abby, her brother Ethan and their mommy, one of my best new gal pals "Bec".

I've always been on the shy side, especially as a kid, and considered myself very reserved. Ian has always encouraged me to make new friends, and I've found since I've been at home, that there's this whole network that's opened up to me via my children. I'm now a social monster/whore. Well, not so bad, but Abby and Giselle hit it off right away when they were in the same program last September, and through almost weekly playdates Bec and I have also become pretty good friends. Here's a shot of the girls doing the bunny hop on the last day of their spring program.


Bec's doesn't mind the verbal diarrheal onslaught that hits her when we get together after not seeing each other for a while. I call it "catching up" although it's more likely the result of lack of true adult conversation. But she gets it, and she really gets me. It's amazing the connection we've made in a very short time. The fact that the little girls' big brothers also hit it off instantaneously was a bonus.

So today's playdate was a major success. The girls were together for pretty much the whole time (it was a marathon date, from lunch until after 7:30 - summer is totally messing up everyone's routine). Painting, playing in the toy kitchen, playing with play doh, chasing each other, tossing the Backyardigan dolls at each other, bossing each other around. They really only had 2 spats in the whole time. They had so much fun, both ended up in their PJ's and passed out ...


And the boys, well they were playing Lego Star Wars on PS2 for most of the day, with a break for lunch, and a Jedi light sabre battle in the dark basement.


Becs and I were able to have a great visit, a lot of coffee and tea talk, checking in on the kids every so often to see if they were screaming with fun or in pain (luckily it was always the former). Pigging out on pizza, Timbits and popcorn (we save the nutritious stuff for the kids). Looking forward to more fun playdates this summer. We're hoping to pull the Dads into the circle very soon as all indicators are that they'll hit it off too.

(*Best Friends Forever)

Girly Friday

Fridays are my favourite day of the week. Even though I'm with Giselle pretty much 24/7, Fridays seem that much sweeter as we have a little routine going, totally instigated by my little one.

I hit the gym for my favourite hip-hop aerobic dance class at the Goodlife in Loblaws. It's a great arrangement, I've been with the gym since my baby was about 9 months old. One of the best gifts hubby ever got me, was this membership. Nothing like your husband investing in your health - mind and body!

While I'm at class, Giselle is having a great time playing at the childminding facility. The ladies there who watch her are fantastic - they've watched her grow from when she could barely sit. She's also got a group of buddies there now, especially little 4 year old Jacob who's a good pal. But not his little sister who's closer to G's age, because "she's a baby". I hope she doesn't continue to be this "clique-ey"!

After class, and my decadent shower, we do some grocery shopping. But for about the past month, we've gone to the "meals to go" section and picked up a quick lunch, headed back upstairs where there are some tables and umbrellas set up, and a huge window giving you a lovely panoramic view of Hwy 7 and Hwy 407, laying just beyond the breathtaking Loblaws parking lot. Ahhhhhh, you just can't beat the scenery in the burbs!

I did this the first time because I ran into one of my neighbours who was picking up sushi-lunch for her kids. We sat down with her for lunch. So the next time I finished my class, G asked "mommy, go down get lunch and eat upstairs?". I was flabbergasted! (Don't know if I've mentioned it lately, but she's a Chatty Cathy - with an ever expanding vocabulary of unknown origin). And then when we got to the table and set everything up, she actually ATE her chicken - no fries required! Eureka!

So these are my Fridays. A workout, lunch with my itty-bitty gal pal, and some grocery shopping. I'm sure it will be no time before my little G becomes my workout buddy too!

A Special Visitor

We had friends over for dinner last night, friends who we hadn't seen since before Christmas. The last time they were over, they were telling us of their plans to finally travel to China, where they would pick up their little adopted daughter. They were so very excited and almost in disbelief that it was actually going to happen. They had started the adoption process before I found out I was pregnant with G. In fact, I think at one point we thought that the girls would be about the same age, but with all the bureaucracy and delays, baby Emma ended up being just over a year younger than G.

It was so incredible to finally meet her and to see her with our friends. We always knew they would be fabulous parents - they're great people, and they've always been so wonderful with our kids. We were both struggling with infertility at the same time for a while, but we were lucky with our journey down the path of treatments. For our friends, adoption was their preferred option, and we thought it was wonderful.

Emma is such a little character, a very cheerful baby who delighted in seeing our kids. Every time they came into the room, she would giggle and point at them, legs and arms flailing away until they came up to her to play. It was so sweet. I look forward to seeing her get close to our children, especially G as I'm sure they'll be great friends, being only one year apart.

And it was so very obvious that she has totally bonded with her parents. She would always keep an eye out for them when she was playing, and although a friendly child, if we were holding her a little too long for her liking she would motion to her mom or dad to take her. Amazing, what happens in a couple of short months.

There is some irony to this story. After they came home from China they were all suffering a little from the time difference/ culture shock/ colds that they had picked up during the trip. But my girlfriend couldn't shake it, and she felt particularly bad in the MORNINGS. You guessed it, she found out she was 2 months pregnant! After years of trying, and only when they finally brought their daughter home, they learned that they would be having another baby. Imagine going from being a couple with no children, to having two under the age of 2 within 10 months!! After the shock wore off, they are happy - it may not have been their plan to have them so close in age, but it will work out for them -- I'm sure their children will be closer because of it. That's what I told them about me and my sister, best friends while growing up and still to this day, born 20 months apart. They know that they are indeed blessed -- that's just the way life is!

I just thought I'd share that happy story during this happy long weekend.

A Sad Day

I went to a funeral today for someone I didn't even know. But my heart breaks for the people that he left behind.
I found out last weekend in a followup e:mail about the regular playgroup that G and I belong to. One of the girls e:mailed to let us know that she wouldn't be up to coming as her husband had a heart attack on Saturday and died. She didn't have most of our phone numbers, so this was the easiest way she had to tell us. My heart just dropped when I read that. She has 2 little boys, one just a little older than G and the other just 11 months old! She's still on maternity leave! Her husband was fit, led a healthy life and was just 42. He also had an older son around 12 from a previous marriage.
42. That's just one year older than me. Wow.
It was a very nice service - you could still feel the shock in the family as his two brothers (one older, one younger) talked about his life, and the love he had for his family. They said life shouldn't be measured by the number of years you've been on the planet, but rather your accomplishments and the life that you led. He sounded like such a happy fellow, who loved life, and was totally in love with his wife and his young family unit. The pictures of him with his loved ones just said it all. I wish I had known him.
There were three of us there from the playgroup. Lauren came with her 3 week old son. It brought home to me the circle of life.
When I spoke with Lisa after the service, she said she couldn't wait for the next playdate. The boys have been just stir-crazy. It must have been such a whirlwind for her - she's had lots of family and friends around in a very short time. But most live out of town. I think it may be hardest for her when everyone leaves and goes back to their own lives.
G and I are hosting the next playdate. I'm hoping that we'll be able to provide her any support that we can during this very sad time. Makes you really appreciate your loved ones even more.