Hubby gave me the sweetest gift this Christmas...
A Sony VAIO laptop. LOVE. IT. Even though I have to keep asking Ian how to pronounce it. Vey-oh? Vie-oh? Dei-oh?! Whatevah.
Now that I'm a working girl again, mama needs her computer with her wherever she goes, and not just for blogging. No, seriously. This way I can keep an eye on the rest of the household, rather than be sequestered in the cold study. Listening to the rugrats destroy the main floor.
And boy, does the portability ever come in handy. I can now hang out in the kitchen, and Google for recipes that I will just whip up in an instant, if I so desire. No more guffaws, please.
There's nothing like a laptop to spice up your marriage. Especially a fashionably hot laptop. I swear, when I opened up the box Christmas morning, Ian looked hotter than he had in years.
I'll have to admit, one of my guilty pleasures is reading the advice columns in the newspaper. So as I was puttering away on this machine this morning, simultaneously half-reading the newspaper, today's "Ask Ellie" column entitled "Forty something girlfriends wonder where the magic's gone" jumped out at me. In the article, a woman was lamenting the state of her relationship with her husband, and noting that she wasn't alone with her feelings - it seemed that many of her fortysomething friends were also going through a similar stage. She loved her husband but didn't love the marriage, feeling tired, emotionally alone, almost a single parent as her partner is married to his career. She seemed to be doing the right things, enrolling in courses for herself, keeping herself busy, but it wasn't enough. One of her friends hadn't had sex with her husband in about two years.
I remember when I hit 40, I had conversations with girlfriends around my age who were looking at their lives, their relationships, taking stock of what they had done, where they were going. And how fulfilled they were with their partnerships. Or unfulfilled. Not surprisingly, there were some breakups; some hiccups in some relationships. I'm sure, as Ellie responded, as you reach this age, it's only natural to re-evaluate your life and your needs, particularly as your body goes through changes as well. Worklife can get more hectic, the focus away from family for some men can happen easily, especially if things are taken care of at the home front.
Relationships are hard work. But it does take two, and that's one thing that we're lucky to have. The both of us are in this together. Taking care of ourselves as best we can, as well as our kids. It's not always easy to stay in sync, to communicate that openly and freely. You get very, very busy with young children. It is hard to stay grounded, and focussed on what is important. Balance is what makes it work. And that is a very difficult challenge. I'm lucky that Ian, as hardworking and career oriented as he is, is a father and husband first and foremost. I don't have to remind him of that, he's figured that out on his own.
I suppose that's one of the advantages of having had our kids a bit later than planned. We have to stay on top of things at the home front together because they are young and quite needy now. So we have to stay fit just to keep up. We had many years of that couple stuff, and while we still really enjoy doing things on our own and likely don't do enough of it, we get the best kick out of life during our time together as a family.
And on the couple front, well, if things go lax a bit in that department, there are always toys to sex it up ... like a shiny new Vaio.