Saturday, January 05, 2008

Love it...what's it called again?

Hubby gave me the sweetest gift this Christmas...

A Sony VAIO laptop. LOVE. IT. Even though I have to keep asking Ian how to pronounce it. Vey-oh? Vie-oh? Dei-oh?! Whatevah.

Now that I'm a working girl again, mama needs her computer with her wherever she goes, and not just for blogging. No, seriously. This way I can keep an eye on the rest of the household, rather than be sequestered in the cold study. Listening to the rugrats destroy the main floor.

And boy, does the portability ever come in handy. I can now hang out in the kitchen, and Google for recipes that I will just whip up in an instant, if I so desire. No more guffaws, please.

There's nothing like a laptop to spice up your marriage. Especially a fashionably hot laptop. I swear, when I opened up the box Christmas morning, Ian looked hotter than he had in years.

I'll have to admit, one of my guilty pleasures is reading the advice columns in the newspaper. So as I was puttering away on this machine this morning, simultaneously half-reading the newspaper, today's "Ask Ellie" column entitled "Forty something girlfriends wonder where the magic's gone" jumped out at me. In the article, a woman was lamenting the state of her relationship with her husband, and noting that she wasn't alone with her feelings - it seemed that many of her fortysomething friends were also going through a similar stage. She loved her husband but didn't love the marriage, feeling tired, emotionally alone, almost a single parent as her partner is married to his career. She seemed to be doing the right things, enrolling in courses for herself, keeping herself busy, but it wasn't enough. One of her friends hadn't had sex with her husband in about two years.

I remember when I hit 40, I had conversations with girlfriends around my age who were looking at their lives, their relationships, taking stock of what they had done, where they were going. And how fulfilled they were with their partnerships. Or unfulfilled. Not surprisingly, there were some breakups; some hiccups in some relationships. I'm sure, as Ellie responded, as you reach this age, it's only natural to re-evaluate your life and your needs, particularly as your body goes through changes as well. Worklife can get more hectic, the focus away from family for some men can happen easily, especially if things are taken care of at the home front.

Relationships are hard work. But it does take two, and that's one thing that we're lucky to have. The both of us are in this together. Taking care of ourselves as best we can, as well as our kids. It's not always easy to stay in sync, to communicate that openly and freely. You get very, very busy with young children. It is hard to stay grounded, and focussed on what is important. Balance is what makes it work. And that is a very difficult challenge. I'm lucky that Ian, as hardworking and career oriented as he is, is a father and husband first and foremost. I don't have to remind him of that, he's figured that out on his own.

I suppose that's one of the advantages of having had our kids a bit later than planned. We have to stay on top of things at the home front together because they are young and quite needy now. So we have to stay fit just to keep up. We had many years of that couple stuff, and while we still really enjoy doing things on our own and likely don't do enough of it, we get the best kick out of life during our time together as a family.

And on the couple front, well, if things go lax a bit in that department, there are always toys to sex it up ... like a shiny new Vaio.


Cherry said...

What a great post on your relationship and relationships in general.

I love having a laptop in the house too! We've gotten so used to quickly looking things up anytime we want to without running upstairs. Quite handy in the kitchen too!

Family Adventure said...

Because you had to fight to have your children, after some years just the two of you, you are probably also more conscious of the fact that a) you really, really wanted these kids, and b) they are only here for a short while. Couple time will be back soon enough. Don't ya think??

I love my laptop. I sit in the kitchen, the family room, everywhere with my laptop. It gets a bit silly sometimes....but I haven't brought it with me to the ladies' room yet :)


Badness Jones said...

I'm. Jealous. But very happy for you! A new laptop couldn't have happened to a nicer girl. :)

Beth said...

Ooohhhh...lovely laptop. One of these days I hope to get one!

Thanks for a great post!

Rima said...

I don't know how I ever survived before I got a laptop!

Laura said...

I had a hard time with that too. My husband would say it's Vi (like i)Oh. He got me one when I was recovering from surgery and couldn't make it down the steps to the office (with the desktop Vaio). I also always pouted that I would be downstairs away while they were all upstairs having fun. I loved being able to sit and work on the couch while they watched t.v. or played games. Now I have a Toshiba and I don't like it half as much...and don't get me started on Vista.

C said...

Woot! Woot! Your hubby is awesome! I love reading about your relationship with Ian. What a great guy! You guys are awesome :)

I thought Hubby was going to get me a new computer, but he surprised me by getting me a 22 in. flat screen computer monitor, 5-in-1 fax/photocopier/scanner/printer thingies and that dance pad for Dance Dance Revolution. LOL! I have a feeling that was more for him and our nieces and students though! ;)

Aren't husbands the greatest?!

P.S. Hope you, Ian and the kids can make it up to the Island sometime (summer...summer...summer!!!). The kids, Ian and Hubby will have a blast at the beach. You and I can sip on Pomtinis! LOL!

melissa said...

Pretty! Sparkly! Very nice!

I couldn't live w/o my laptop. I have a desk, but it is in the playroom which as the kids get older, becomes quite impossible to do work in. Which is sad, because it is a cool desk and workspace!

And you are so right about the relationship stuff...Keeping focused on your relationship amid everything else in the world is hard, but it is the most important thing to do.

kailani said...

Congrats on the laptop! I have a Vaio, too. Got it for Mother's Day 2007. I love it!

Christy said...

Nice new toy! A laptop is on our list too, unfortunately is it somewhere closer to the bottom at the moment so it may be awhile :9
Enjoy yours, and interesting relationship stuff.


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