Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Coming out and the world not imploding


So how many of you have told your "real life" friends and family about this interesting hobby called blogging?

I know I've blogged about this before, this strange "fear" I have of being found out as a blogger. It's a bizarre passive/aggressive relationship I have with the web. Hence my reluctance to get all "blogfaced" on my Facebook page as I started that with IRL contacts only. And geez, now there is Twitter. So all of a sudden I'm on this social-networking wave that I unknowingly surfed onto.

My immediate family know about this place, as do my sisters-in-law, a couple friends here and afar, and at least one parent in my kids' school crowd (you might remember her when she was in Norway). Strangely enough, though, only a couple of the people "in the know" actually follow my blog. Or perhaps not so strangely. They're probably just not interested.

Well I guess they just don't know how great it is over here, do they?

All kidding aside, I decided I would let some others in on my secret. To a select few, of course. To lift the weight of the heavy burden of this secret identity.

A couple of weeks ago I got together with a group of friends that I have known for over 10 years now. TEN years. I don't know how that flew by. We became close as we suffered through and survived three years of MBA classes while working full-time. I got pregnant and had baby number one during my last year, so they really carried me for a few months while I was in new mama territory. We got super close as they watched me nurse and type at the same time. How could we not stay in touch after bonding on that level? We still try to get together a couple of times a year, to get caught up.

We were reminiscing about the program, and one of them said, "Yeah, Karen, you were always so good at the writing thing. We would be looking for the right wording, you'd go type away on the laptop and come back with something just like that! "

And then my other classmate piped in, "You really should write a book, or do something with that!"

My other buddy, who also loves to write (and was critiqued by a prof, who said his writing was "breezy" like a magazine article, whatever that meant) is still hoping to write a book one day. He mentioned that he still keeps a small journal with him at all times, to capture snippets for this book.

I told him he should blog. Like I do.

And then I expected the earth to suck me in through the floor of the restaurant.

But it didn't happen. Then I went further.

"Yeah. I'm a blogger. And I'm actually going to a hold me while I get shit-faced drunk and party with my homies blogging convention in July."

The reaction around the table was bemused acknowledgement. Someone asked whether I'm on twitter. And of course I said yes. The others looked at me like I was from another planet.

And that was IT folks. They didn't ask me for my url, they didn't ask what I blog about ... nada.

To be honest, I was rather relieved. I guess I'm just one overly nosy person, because if someone told me they blogged, I'd be all over it.

But that's just me.

*****

Over coffee with another mom friend, who I have become quite close to this last year as their whole family was so supportive during that whole nightmare with Dad... I decided to spill it again. Can't shut me up once I'm on a roll, I guess.

We were talking about summer plans and I mentioned that I was going to Chicago with me, myself and I. She thought that was great, and asked what it was for.

So I told her... I'm a blogger. I said I blogged about my life, my kids, and not about her. She smiled, thought it was great. It hasn't come up again in conversation.

And again, that was it. I guess I just did blog about her. Oh well.

*****

So now I can just carry on. In fact, perhaps I'll REALLY let 'er rip now.

30 comments:

Tara R. said...

The people I work with know I blog and a couple follow but don't comment. One is a friend on Twitter, but for the most part I don't tell a lot of people. My other friends just don't seem interested.

I think if I could do it over, no one I know outside of the Internet would know I blog just so I wouldn't feel like i have to self censor. There are still some things I don't write about because I don't want friends or family to read it.

OHmommy said...

Im going to start with the lame-o comment....

"I love this post Karen."

Because I do. I can so relate. People really aren't surprised anymore by blogging because so many people do it now. I am glad you came out to your close friends. And Im glad you blog. And I am go glad you are going to the "blogging convention." :)

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

My friends who know I blog couldn't care less either. Those that don't blog themselves, that is. Which is fine with me. And yet...kinda weird. Esp since these friends are all geographically kind of far away, so if I had a way to check in and keep up with them any time I wanted to, see what they're thinking about and up to, I'd do it. Oh wait, I guess a phone might work for that, huh? Sigh.

Life As I Know It said...

I think about this ALL THE TIME. There are 4 people in real life who know about my blog...it took me until a few weeks ago to be brave enough to put a picture up on my blog. Don't know why I am so freaked out about being found out, but I am...but maybe, like you, the world won't implode if it happens.

wherewiller said...

I've been in the same situation - my family and old friends know (as it started for them 5 years ago) but newer friends and work colleagues do not. And I've kept people seperate with totally different groups on facebook and twitter. And then they starting getting mixed up. And people at working are figuring out that I'm this hardcore twitter user. But I've not come out of the blog closet and I haven't told them WHY I am going to Chicago :-)

melscolorfulmetaphors said...

Same here. No one in real life seems to give a rats ass. Which is good I guess. Ever once in a while, someone will say, OMG, that was soooo funny, but for the most part, no.

Kami's Khlopchyk said...

I used to tell everyone and give everyone the link...apparently I have no shame. But then I realized that very few people were actually interested. It was weird, still is. Some friends get offended when they read somethign on my blog that I haven't told them about...I found that strange because I was thinking that if it was on there didn't I tell them then....I have learned that isn't enough.

But I get not telling people. Many people don't get it. I am okay with that, we get it and that's all that matters!

Jen on the Edge said...

Most of my family knows about my blogging, but I've made a point to keep it from a few relatives and in-laws.

Still, I've always been careful what I say about people. Thank goodness, because my stepmother found my blog last summer (supposedly by accident, but I suspect that my sister told her) and the s--- really hit the fan.

Here in my town, lots of people know that I blog, partly because they know me and partly because I'm part of a local blog network.

My husband and children know, of course.

Simon said...

I tell people all the time, and it always puzzles me that people aren't interested. Not that blogging is in and of itself inherently fascinating, but I figure if people are interested enough to talk to me, why aren't they interested enough to read me?
Mostly the people who do read my blog are ones who have their own too.

Knatolee said...

Hmmm, most people know I blog, although it will be a cold day in hell before I tell my in-laws. But it does seem that people who know me in the real world tend not to read my blog... go figure. What's that all about, anyway? I'm like you; if my friend has a blog, I wanna read it!

louann said...

My closest of closest friends know that I blog but I doubt if they even read my blog. I never bothered to ask. But I would be extremely thrilled if I knew a close friend who blogged too, I would definitely follow his / her blog.

Momisodes said...

This is too funny. I was JUST about to blog about this!

That is great no one seemed to dig too deep. I'm sure it may avoid an element of strain on your blogging voice.

I find that there are still quite a few people out there who still don't know what blogs really are. From what I understand,only my immediate family and a few good friends know about my blog. I HOPE that none of my in-laws have found it.

Chantal said...

When I started my blog I sent everyone (I mean everyone) my link. And I think only 3 people every visited it. And they NEVER commented (still don't). I have grown quite fond of my rag tag group of "bloggy friends" since then, and I don't feel as sad that my real friends don't visit.

I linked over to you from BeachMama. Have fun in Chicago!

Tooj said...

*hand raised high*

I have this FEAR too....but my reaction to the few that I HAVE told is actually disappointment. They don't seem at all interested, and that bothers me. LOL I take that back...my sisters and my brother read my blog diligently and like it. They talk to me about it all the time. I also told a friend of mine about it and I found out a few months AFTER the fact that she still reads it and keeps up. I was thrilled to hear that she read it!!! I have a cousin that started a blog so I told HER I had one too, and we give each other comment love on nearly every post. Umm...I told one friend who reacted not at all (it was an email convo) but then she turns around and tells a mass email listing that she started a blog. I was like....but why didn't you give my blog "announcement" any love? Hmmm. Weird. Can I just say I'm really jealous of you going to this blog convention - is it BlogHer? Is that actually a network of women to join or is a convention for any blogger to attend? I'm confused. Either way, my husband is soooo anti-internet that if I expressed interest in attending I'm not sure he'd feel comfortable with me doing so. :(

Tooj said...

p.s. I linked to this post on my blog, I liked it so much. :)

JustMiss said...

Yes, yes, yes! You wont find me mentioning my blog on facebook. ever. My family is on there. Do I want my mom to read my toy reviews? No thanks. Do I need my bitchy aunt judging me more than she already does? Uh uh. I like things the way they are. Only a handful of IRL people know about my blog and they are people I trust completely. Oh, and my pesky ex who still googles "just miss wordpress" to find me. Douchebag.

;-)

Cid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cid said...

Sorry, my prevoius comment was not properly spell-checked and I have a thing about appearing literate on screen. Anyways ... I'm still in the closet for the most part. I have an internetaphobic husband as well, so we have never discussed blogging since our first and only "discussion." But I have told a select few and had a similiar strangely indifferent response or maybe it wasn't so strange. We don't want everybody reading and blogging now do we? I wish I was going to Blogher, it would be interesting to meet some of my blog heros whom I am always quoting as, "a friend of mine was saying ..." in person.
P.S. Karen, I tagged you in a game of Photo Folders

Kat said...

I think that is because people who don't blog don't really know what it is. I certainly didn't know before I started. And I didn't know how consuming it can be. Some of my friends know I blog and don't really read it either. It seems strange to me because they keep asking me about certain aspects of my life and I want to say, "I wrote a huge post about it. Didn't you read it? Now I have to repeat myself!" ;)

Christy said...

My Hubby knows and one friend who stumbled across it, and that is it! At least that I know of. It is my secret little space, and I think part of me would die if everyone found out. Isn't that horrible? It just isn't something I want people who I actually know reading and seeing, sometime it is just to personal, kwim?

Now I am hoping to start a photo business soon and have a new blog for that. That one I will be letting everyone know about and I sure hope people I know IRL will visit. I will also make sure there is no connection between the two thought that is for sure!

PS. Enjoy Blogher! I will be reading from the side lines again :)

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Some of my friends know and they check in on occasion but are not regular readers. I am okay with it because they are completely supportive of me. I didn't get "blogging" until I started doing it myself and now I can't imagine not doing it.

Karen MEG said...

@Tara: There's a lot of stuff I wish I could do over too ;)

@OHmommy: Never lame, hon. Can't wait to hug you at the "convention" (feel like the Flintstones, a grand poobah festival :)

@J: I am allergic to the phone.

@Life as I know it: It won't... people don't seem to care too much!

@wherewiller: look for me in Chicago!

@mel: You are OMG funny a lot of the time!

@Kami: too funny, no shame. You need to make blogger calling cards!

@Jen: neat that you're part of a local blog network! I forgot to mention obviously the man and the kids know too. In fact, my older reads the occasional one, and I okay all my photo pics of him - he wants to look cool.

@Simon: I know only couple of bloggers (that I knew before I found out about their blogs).

@Knat: okay, this is EXACTLY why I was so excited to find your blog!

@louann: I know, I'd be "what is your URL, how often do you post, etc. etc."

@Momisodes: Great minds :). My SIL used to comment a lot more; I think I may have shared a little TMI about her little brother LOL!

@Chantal: Thanks for coming by! I guess the reactions I experienced are not that unusual!

Karen MEG said...

@tooj: you're a sweetheart. Blog etiquette is like the wind, I'm finding. So yes, it is BlogHer and it's open to anyone... I joined the network almost 2 years ago, was going to go last year but our vacay got in the way.. so this year I was all like GOTTA GO!!! And it's only an hour's flight away, so all is good.

@justmiss: uh, yeah, those toys are something else LOL! I've got a lot of old highschool classmates on FB since a recent reunion, and I don't want them to think I've gone totally mental. And my ex wanted to friend me too. Un, NO!

@Cid: I wish you were going to BlogHer too! Need more rockin' women our age there ;)! Thanks for the tag, it's a good one!

@Kat: you're right, it is like repeating yourself! I find it funny sometimes as one friend who reads pretty regularly will pick up on the topic like a continuation of a previous conversation!

@Christy: it is not horrible, the thought of "losing" your own personal space. It's a funny thing with blogs, it's all out there, but there's that anonymity that makes it feel safer.

@Renee: it's so easy to get really into blogging isn't it? I've taken some breaks, thought about stopping and I don't think I can.

I hope I haven't missed anyone...I've decided to try to comment right on my posts to keep up with all you amazing readers, as I'm dropping the ball on replies lately! We'll see how this goes...

Dorkys Ramos said...

Hi! I just read Tooj's post about this one and wanted to stop in. When I first started my blog two years ago, I told no one...and soon got bored with it. A year later, I made sure to tell my super close friends and a couple family members only. I was super nervous and shy about letting others in on my thoughts. Mind you I'm a magazine writer, but the things I'd written then weren't so personal.

They read every single post and comment regularly, which I LOVE and appreciate so much. And that was the whole point of sharing: to start a conversation and hear what they had to say in response.

In the past several months I've opened the circle as I've grown more comfortable and actually proud of my work. And last week, I finally started posting my blog posts on Facebook!

Kellan said...

Yep - no one really gets it and they certainly don't get the wonder of it all unless you have experienced it like we have. I have lots of friends and family that know I blog - but, they don't get it. It's okay - we get it!

Have a great weekend, Karen Meg - see you soon - Kellan

Little Nut Tree said...

Comment love from SITS... I enjoyed reading this, although in my case all my family (and his) are the geeky type so there's no stigma attached.

(My grandma says "all the young people have BLOBs today don't they". She's not so geeky. lol)

Natacha said...

I've only been blogging for a bit now, I tried it a while ago and it didn't stick but now I'm really enjoying it. At first, like you I didn't tell anyone, and then finally i just decided what the hell and posted one of my posts onto facebook...and well...not the unanimous cheer of pride and amazement at my profound and indepth writing abilities...basically just a couple of comments on how it was really funny...no actual comments on the blog...and that was it. i'm still writing though, I know my mom and husband read it;)

FrankandMary said...

Some of the people I know IRL who read my blog always comment to me privately, a very few sometimes publicly. My ex-bf's whole family(except his ex-wife) read my blog, even his parents. A couple of doctors I've worked with read, as well as a few other old bfs. One person who has known me FOREVER said: You don't tell me anything in person, I need to follow the blog to find out your real feelings.
Hmmm...that was instructive.
~Mary

Mrs4444 said...

I cannot imagine not being interested in anyone I know having a blog (unless they couldn't write, of course.) I would definitely ask for the url. Everyone knows I blog, and many ask for the url, but some don't, just because they haven't a clue what a wonderful world we blog in :)

Heather of the EO said...

I came on over here because Tooj told me to and I love her (and her blog) and I've fallen into this bloggy thing and love that too.

So glad I came! Love this post. That's just the truth.

I've had SO many of these experiences. When I told one friend that I was going to a blogging convention (and I hope to see you there, I'll be hiding in a corner too), she stared blankly at me and said, "what would THAT be about? I mean...a whole convention for blogging...I don't get it."

I just laughed. Can't explain it really, but I know it's going to be a great time.

Hardly anyone asks for the url when I say I blog. Most people just don't get what it is. Or they don't care :)

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