Hello,hello...is anyone out there? Are you still with me?
I've been away so long that it feels like I don't even know how to do this anymore. It's not that I've forgotten about this place, I've actually been thinking about it aplenty. Finding the time to gather my thoughts and to capture them in any coherent fashion is another matter.
Where have I been by the way? Well, here, but with work and the kids and the soccer and the gymnastics...barely hanging on at times.
The kids want a dog. They've been wanting a dog for a couple of years now. I say, "It wouldn't be fair to the dog though, no one is home during the day."
And they respond, "I've got an idea, Mommy. Why don't we get a nanny -she could be home to look after the dog while we're at school."
Clever kids. Too clever. We're now working on it.
I didn't want to go there. After all, why can't I do it all? I've been doing it, well, sorta for over a year now. But it was always the plan to take stock of the full-time work situation after a year, and see if I would need help. If you look back at my posts in that time it gives you an idea of how well I've been coping-or more correctly how I haven't been coping. I'm tired of being tired, stressed and yelling all the the time. I'd like to spend more quality time with my kids and be less of a stress bag to my husband.
As I write this, I'm enjoying an evening with my family in a downtown hotel as part of our family day weekend. I smile as I hear them laughing, playing hide and seek, enjoying the moment. But at the back of mind I'm already planning what to write in the week's schedule for the man, before I head out again tomorrow evening for a week away across the other side of the ocean. The stress is just deferred.
I want to be able to smile at my kids more and shout at them less. To be able to help them with homework rather than having to keep an eye on dinner or watching the clock at the same time.
So, I'm going there.
Never say never... I say.
(BTW, I caught the movie with the girlie and it rocked. I hate to admit it, but he is a rather sweet boy - and that was clear in the movie. He's a cutie-pie kid. So the girl crushin' on him a bit is fine by me.)