Talk talk

I was afraid of a lot of things as a kid.  Not sure where I got that from but I was extremely shy as child, didn't like to speak up in class and heaven forbid if I was ever called upon to answer a question;  it took me the longest time to do so without breaking out in tears  ( at least in the early grades).

So if you recall, my mother encouraged, pushed or maybe out and out bullied me to step up and conquer fears --by making me sign up to run for class president when I was 11years old when in grade 7. And representing at speech competitions in school around the same time.  You notice a common thread there?  Public speaking, speaking in front of public, people, several at a time ... Yes I was deathly afraid of it, and to be honest, it still shakes me somewhat.

Today when I disclose how introverted I am, most people are pretty surprised.  When I took a communications class during business school I would speak but reluctantly -and after presentations I would breathe huge sighs of relief.  My friends never saw the turmoil of nerves below the surface.

Nowadays my job requires that I speak in front of people on a pretty regular basis. Whether it be in front of my department, in front of the whole company, on stage at a conference (gulp) or in front of royalty (another story) ...it can still feel like I'm jumping off a cliff , whoever the audience.  Or other times I can just wing it, coming up with content 2 minutes before going on. Unbelievable to me, but possible.

It just takes a good deep breath, visualization, putting on my big girl pants and taking a few seconds to stand in my Wonderwoman pose.

And then just try to shut me up!

Reinforcements

(First of all, THANK YOU for all your encouraging words and comments as I had a meltdown for the internets to see. Looks like I struck a bit of a chord, and I'm happy to see that I'm not alone. Obviously I've been in a major funk. At one point before I posted, I wondered even if I had the energy, creativity, desire to blog anymore. But you have reminded me of why I do this in the first place. For me. And you are all wonderful.)

"So Guppy, Daddy needs to have a talk with you."

"What? Why?"

"Well, I want you to know that when Mommy comes to pick you up from Michael's house, you need to go with her. You don't make Mommy wait for you, you don't whine about not wanting to leave, you don't make Mommy chase you around the house. It makes it difficult for Mommy and late for her to pick up your brother."

"But Daddy..."

"No buts. You're a guest there, and it makes it very awkward for Mommy. You have to listen to Mommy, it's important."

"But Daddy, why did the caterpillar die?"

"We're not talking about caterpillars right now, honey. Did you understand what Daddy just said about listening to Mommy?

"What do caterpillars eat?"

"And if you make Mommy so very angry she's just going to get mad all over again to me and I'll hear about it as soon as I walk through the door, she's going to go back to work."

"Oh. Okay, Daddy."

Let's see if it this sticks for the next 24 hours. Before she finds the next caterpillar.

(P.S. Check out this neat site, Farecast. Thanks to them I waited it out and got better rates, and my husband has been saved from being tied to the stake and given a royal lashing. Now he only owes me $12.)