Wordless Wednesday - "Me"

(by little G )

The Grandmas by the bus go ...

One of the things that I remember about my Grandmother was her stubbornness in speaking only Chinese, even though I'm pretty sure she was completely fluent in English. I mean, how could you live in Canada for over 40 years and not be? I swear, she even knew some French, being in Montreal and all. My sister and I would have conversations completely in English in front of her sometimes (to discuss secretive stuff, that teenagers do, we were nice that way)... and she would throw in a word or two every so often that would confirm our suspicions. But whenever we would confront her or ask, she would deny understanding a single thing.

So she would launch into conversation in Cantonese, with anyone, even if they were obviously not Asian. And appear shocked when they wouldn't understand her. Eventually she would just get really pissed off. What a riot she was. She would do this to Ian sometimes, and with a little charade-playing, he could actually understand her. It would make him laugh, a lot.

I thought about her this morning at the school bus stop. All the kids at this stop happen to be Asian. Now I'm not sure whether they are all Chinese, but I suppose that my kids appear the "least" Asian because they are of mixed heritage. "Half-age" -I spelled this phonetically as it's a term I heard in Vancouver for the first time this year. A term used by a hostess at a restaurant who couldn't stop fawning over my kids, saying how beautiful they were and how she hoped she would have kids like that one day (only the young, I know). But I digress...

The little boy across the street started Junior Kindergarten this year and is taking the bus for the first time as well. His family just moved in a few months ago, and he is being cared for by whom I assume to be, both his grandmothers. Who don't speak much English.

This was his first day at the bus stop without either of his parents. Today his grandmothers brought him kicking and screaming. He was crying, and making a fuss. One of the ladies turned to the older boy who waits at the bus with my kids. She started rattling off in Mandarin. I know this because I know bits and pieces, but I couldn't follow her questions. And neither could the boy. He just looked at her dumbfoundedly. Finally the other lady clued in and said in broken English "You understand?" and the boy replied. "No, sorry."

Then I could hear them chatting away to each other, and I'm sure from their tone of voice they were appalled. But they asked "You take Ricki to school?". And the boy said he would, but he didn't know Ricki's class.

So then my boy piped in, "I'll take him. I know whose class he's in, he's right next to G's room".

I told the ladies that my son knew where Ricki should go and they nodded gratefully at him. I couldn't help but beam with a little pride, ruffling my son's hair proudly.

That boy, he's been doing his darnedest to impress me lately. It's working.

And my Grandma? She's been gone almost 15 years now. But she was the one holding and consoling me when I was 4 years old. Crying and not wanting to get on the bus to go to Chinese school - that was me when I was a little Ricki.

A tiny glimpse of what seemed to have happened just yesterday. And it made me smile.

Weekly Winners #37

I didn't take the original,
but here's the artist behind the masterpieces that follow:





And a random shot of mooncake, for you troubles (yummmmm...)

HAPPY WINNERS EVERYONE!

For other winners, visit LOTUS.

Wordless Wednesday - Firsts

"Wordless Wednesday"

(so who's the one not ready?)

The Day is Near

The first day of the school is on September 2 this year. We'll bring the boy to the schoolyard where the rest of the students, all several hundred of them, will congregate. We will look for the big "3" among the sea of heads to find out which placard holder will be his teacher. It will be chaotic.

And then the "other" first day of school, will be September 3. The monumental one. The first day of kindergarten for the little G.

When we decided that it made so much sense for me to stay home with the kids almost four years ago, I was thrilled. To be able to spend such quality time and actually be present for the first big steps in my daughter's life and see firsthand the continuing progress of my little man - what a gift.

But four years goes by so quickly. I hadn't thought much about this upcoming milestone. Perhaps it's because she's always been so independent, wishing that she could like her big brother and hang out with the other big kids. Constantly telling me that she's a big girl now and not my baby. She's never been too much of a baby to me.

*****

Over lunch one day this past week, my boy, the first baby, my sensitive one, asked me:

"Hey Mom, when G's in school, won't you really, really miss her?"
It took me aback a bit. And I replied:

"Well, she's been in preschool a couple of mornings a week, so it won't be such a big change."
"Mom, I know you're used to me being gone for a full 6 hours, but you've been with just G everyday. For three whole years!! I guess it will be different when she's in full-day school."
Little G piped in : "Yeah, 'cuz I'm a big girl and I'll be in kindergarten with my best friend."
The conversation then turned to something completely different. I think it was the weather.

As a mother, I tend to operate more on the "drill sergeant" end of the spectrum. I don't really get too sentimental, I lack patience, and even though I do love to cuddle with my kids and give them spontaneous hugs and kisses, sometimes I feel that I can even be downright cold. At least that's my self-perception.

But after the kids left the table and I was by myself in the kitchen, washing the dishes, seeing the water swirl down the drain ... I started to cry. Just a little.

My baby, my littlest one, will be starting school. She is so excited. She will sail through her first day. She will not look back. She may even forget to say goodbye to me. I know this with such certainty.

There's a part of me that wishes we could just have a little more summer, a little more sun, a little more play.

"On an island in the sun
We'll be playing and having fun..."*



The rush to grow up, it's just starting. I know it isn't nearly as huge as this.

But honestly, right now, this is the most I can handle. And barely at that.

(*Who knew I was such a Weezer fan. I can't get this tune out of my head these past few days...)

Fashion Friday: Back to School Edition

I haven't posted a Fashion Friday in a while for the main reason that I haven't added any interesting finds to my closet. In fact, I need to purge it in order to make room for more. And before I make room for more, I must lose the SEVEN POUNDS that I gained in one month. Drinking and eating. Ugh. One month of Bodyjam once a week is just not enough. I'm hopeful that once the kids are in school and I can get back into a routine again of going to the gym at least three times a week, this will change.

Today we focus on the kids' back to school fashion purchases. It's that time of year again. Besides school supplies, my aim for this week was to buy some new shoes for the boy, and to see if there was anything else that struck his fancy. At the ripe old age of eight, he has a definite opinion on what he will and will not wear.

We headed to H & M, which I find is a great place for the kids and myself ... but wait, not about myself today. Can you believe that I did NOT look at ANYTHING for myself? NOTHING. Big pats on my own back.

What we did see right away in the boys' size 8-18 section was a nice selection of argyle sweaters. I bypassed them as usual, but to my utter surprise, the boy called to me and said "Mom, I want THAT look". That look included an argyle sweater.

My boy, who has spent the last year in T-shirts, athletic pants, the occasional jeans, but for summer, only basketball shorts. Not only did he like the look, he ran to the accessories section to find the perfect additions to what he saw. And this is what he came up with:


A tweed cap and scarf? OMG!!!! He had his shades on too ... what a hoot! Combine this with the following OP shoes we picked up at Walmart (which I know will fall apart within a week, but he loved them) and some jeans that still fit him...


And he's set.

Another purchase at Walmart, this graffiti hoodie:


He is stylin', this kid! And it happened over night!

Of course, we cannot forget the girl, because she will not let us. Last season it was My Little Pony, but no more ...


And for dance class:


I am afraid that I have created a couple of mini-me retail monsters. We had such a fun time in the change rooms; the kids were laughing and showing each other their outfits. Not fighting for even one second. I think I need to get more work.

Finally, a little someone is so excited about starting school for the very first time:


And now I'm going to cry.

Can’t get pregnant? Get your MBA.

(I know that I’m really drawing this out but it just seemed a bit trite to condense the first years of our infertility struggles into but a couple of posts. I’ll pick up speed, after all, as you know, there are two stories in this saga. Oh, and just because I NEED to spit another 13 things out, they are way down below…)

There would still be a few months before we got to see the fertility specialist. So we plodded along as usual, hoping, but not really expecting much. And trying to stay sane in the meantime.

Things were going all right for me at work. I had an interesting boss (read: one that most people could not stand; I gave her the benefit of the doubt as I think a lot of the problem was purely cultural, but really, she could be a supreme bee-atch). She happened to like me. And she liked that I knew what I was doing and could make her look good (read: do her job and get paid thousands less). The work itself was challenging enough, but let’s face it, ambition has got to rear its head when you’re in this situation.

I had wanted to study business for a while; primarily because I hadn’t taken one single business course throughout high school or university. It was always maths and sciences, and I really wanted to prove to myself that I could do something related to marketing and business. Of course even back then, an MBA wasn’t worth its weight as much as it used to be say, even 10 years earlier. But it certainly couldn’t hurt career-wise.

My boss also had an MBA and to her credit, was big on women improving their skills and education. It was fairly easy to get her on board to recommend that the company pay for my program. She also provided what I can only guess was a glowing letter of recommendation to the school.

I studied for my GMAT for several weeks straight before sitting for the exam, which was tough after not having been in school in 10 years. And I wrote a “masterpiece” of an application to the university. I got accepted into the program which would take about 3 years to complete while working full-time.

I remember having a chat with a friend who was now located in the US, catching up about “stuff”, telling her I was thinking about doing the MBA, and also about my struggles with infertility. She suggested I really think hard, because she’d had friends do the school & work thing and they basically disappeared from the face of the earth for a couple of years. And then she told me that she was expecting her second child.

So really, in order to take away the stress of trying for baby and not being successful, I embarked on a totally stress-free activity called “business-school-on-evenings-and-weekends-while-working-full-time-not-going-to-have-a-life-and-man-I-still-wanna-get-pregnant” mission.

Did I mention that I’m a freakin’ nutcase?

Or at least Clumsy.

(and how amazing is it that this hot guy is actually a dad of 2 now, with another on the way with his beautiful wife. And they give back too. Brangelina, eat your heart out.)

Thirteen things I learned while getting my MBA...

1/ Beer before, during and after an assignment isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
2/ “Greek” and “Texan” can go together and provide a cheap meal including a beer, honkin’ huge pork chops and Jello as dessert. Our hang out before class on those long haul Friday evenings after work.
3/ It’s a good thing to let the ball and chain loose a little. Hubs loved his free weekends.
4/ Even adults can be slacker students. I guess high school attitude doesn’t always die.
5/ Statistics were still impossible. Thank goodness for the engineer in the group.
6/ Homework and exams still suck. Especially in conjunction with “real” work assignments.
7/ I never want to create another survey. Ever again.
8/ It’s a bit depressing when your profs are around the same age as you.
9/ Laptops are one of the greatest inventions ever made.
10/ Coffee is the new Coke.
11/ Girls night out meant getting together with two gal pals and cranking out a 1000 page report and analysis of the drug industry … over wine and cheese of course.
12/ You can make lifelong friends with people that you spend most every weekend with for three intense years. It’s been almost 7 years since we graduated, and we still try to see get together 2 -3 times a year.
13/ Don't put your life on hold for something that seems unattainable...


(further details, of course, will follow ... I know, I am very, very mean)

Start your engines and get on those elbow pads...

...it's Kindergarten registration day!

I'm just getting used to the fact that my baby is now 3 years old, but because she was born late in the year, she is actually eligible to start Junior Kindergarten (JK) this year.

Now I had heard through other moms that last year's kindergarten registration was quite busy, and not terribly organized. In fact, there was a bit of controversy because for the first time the school was offering a new schedule. For years it has been a half-day program, either in the morning or in the afternoon, for both years of kindergarten. The new offering, because there were enough parents wanting it, is full day, alternate days (with alternating Fridays). I believe that our school is one of the few in this region that actually still offer the half day schedule. So when there's choice, there's controversy, because not everyone will get what they want.

My feeling is that the half day is really better for kids this young. Most are still napping when they're 4 years old; at least L was, and G doesn't look like she'll be ready to give that afternoon sleep up completely before September. And I think that a full day is a long time for such little people to keep their focus; and for the teachers to keep up. It cannot be easy to teach and keep twenty 4 and 5 year olds engaged for an entire school day.

In addition, they split the class up with half JK and half SK; so your child stays with the same teacher for both years. This factors very much into the equation. You want to make sure you get a good teacher if there's any way to make that happen.

And I really want to get my son's JK/SK teacher for little G. Mrs. A, who is fantastic. Of course I'm not the only one who thinks so. In L's kindergarten class, I would say at least half of the kids were teachers' offspring. Tells you a lot about who the good teacher might be, doesn't it? I volunteered with her class for two years, including after G was born, and she always welcomed the baby to all of the kindergarten celebrations. She wanted G to know that JK/SK is really just one big party, after all. Well, not really - she's a tough cookie, but just excellent. We just lucked out when I registered L, but I wasn't going to rely on pure luck again. There are literally only 10 places for JK in her class.

Registration was to begin at 9:30 AM, but I was determined to get there no later than 8:30. Sure enough, G decided to sleep in today of all days. Mind you, she's got a cold so she really needed the sleep. As I scrambled upstairs to get her awake, the phone rang. It was my friend Wendy, who'd just dropped off her son at daycare at the school, calling to let me know that she saw four people already waiting in the hall! Panic! I managed to get my screaming, squirming 3 year old dressed and in the car in record time. I was going to drive L too, but he felt it might be easier for me for him to take the bus, so he decided to wait for it (he's such a considerate kid, it's unbelievable to me that he's still only 7 years old, sometimes).

I got to the school, and luckily was able to find parking because it was a little early. Rushed in, and lo and behold, was probably parent number 8. Remember, it is about 8:40 am now. I met up with a couple of parents that I knew, one a neighbour who's youngest will be starting this year too. He kindly offered me his seat, while everyone mentally took note of my place in the sequence.

The mood was quite collegial, and then more parents started coming in, standing around in the hall. Now it was a crowd. When the principal came out with the registration paperwork to be spread out on the table, there was this huge rush up to him. He had to tell people to remember their place; honestly, some people had just walked through the door and walked straight up - while others (including my neighbour) had been there since 8 AM! Things did settle down eventually, but it was still a bit crazy. They really should think about giving numbers out (which sounds ridiculous, I mean it's school registration and not a lottery, but it felt like a lottery!).

As it happens, thanks to my friend Wendy, I had checked online a little while ago and found the main document to be completed. So with that already filled out, I fortuitously ended up as the second parent in line with the completed package.

Whew! Now I just have to cross my fingers that we'll get a spot with Mrs. A. We won't find that out until May.

Once that stress is settled, then I can get back to stressing over the fact that my baby is starting school in nine months.