Friday Fragments - Reality Bytes

"This milk tastes like the farm!"

"Yeah, this tastes funny, Dad."

Every night before bed, the kids have a glass of milk. And the parents, walking around robotically on auto-pilot, go through the motions pouring, preparing and serving their kidlets, around the same time every evening.

So on this night, the Dad went back to check the milk bag, and sure enough, it smelled like it had come from another part of a cow. He poured the kids another cup.

"Actually, when I drank my tea it smelled sort of funny. But I thought it was just the mug, and there were no curdles, so I just drank it! "(I was just happy that someone else had made it for me, if we're to be perfectly honest).

"Well, I DID think it tasted sort of like A-S-S," he said as he sat down.

"What's A-S-S?" asked girlie.

"Um, that's another word for farm."

*****

Speaking of ass, can you believe what I bought at our local Costco? Rock & Republic jeans - not kidding!

I was going on and on about the great deal while the boys were sitting at the kitchen island. And the man said," I like those jeans that you have on now".

And the boy said, "Dad, are you checking out Mom's butt?" with a mischevious giggle.

The man had to admit it- "You got me" and we all burst out laughing.

I guess I've still got it, according to the one who counts anyway. And that's a good thing.

*****

So yes, I'm still standing after a very stressful week. There's nothing quite like waking up at 5 AM every morning, before the sun rises. A colleague told me that might be a sign of menopause. How lovely - hot flashes during one of the most important meetings of my career.

I think I'm good now, though. Back to a regular sleep schedule and looking forward to a lovely long weekend. Summer can't come soon enough.

*****

My guilty pleasure continues to be reality TV: hooked on American Idol and Celebrity Apprentice. I know to some that this season's American Idol may be the season of suck, but I am a really big fan of Lee DeWyze. Something about that cute crooked smile and raspy voice - but I remain particularly touched by his supportive parents. I imagine how I would be just over the moon proud of my kids if they were in that situation. I think I'm getting old, and not so much cougar old - how cool is he to perform classics from Simon & Garfunkel and Lynyrd Skynyrd?



Do you think I've sunk to a new low having my son PVR Oprah's interview of Bret Michaels? I've become a huge fan of his since his appearance on Trump's show. I've never been a heavy metal, Poison chick - but I guess you can never say never :). Go Bret Go.

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Happy Victoria Day to my Canadian friends - happy planting and fireworks and all that fun long weekend stuff! And a great weekend to everyone.

Short, not so sweet, trivial thought for the day

Okay, is it just me or have I not failed blogging 101 big time?

Have you seen how LONG my recent posts have been? I guess it makes up for how quiet I can be in real life. Well, at least on the surface, the rest of what I'm trying to say is being sent telepathically, like the girl in the original "Witch Mountain" movies. But seriously, for those of you who made it through my mammoth posts, kudos to you.

So the thought for the day is this: I always wondered what a seemingly sweet, classy girl like Sandra Bullock would see in Jesse James, descendant of the infamous bad guy; the tattooed, tough, creator of "Monster Garage". I mean, he's rich and successful and all that, and I suppose you should never judge a book by its cover. But still, I never really got it.

That is, until I started watching this season's "Celebrity Apprentice". Props go to him for the best line ever, a line uttered two weeks ago, and so profound that even as I think about it now, I cannot help but suppress a giggle.

"These cupcakes taste like ASS."

He's hilarious.

And I'm so mature.

Any other celebrity "mismatches" you can think of?

(he's also quite bright, if the show is any indication, and there's any "reality" involved at all.)


*****

Maybe I'm too sweet to pimp, but Canadian girls, don't forget to check this out...