Sorry

As I get older and wiser, self-awareness has provided me the ability to admit that I'm not all that perfect. Not that I was always so self-assured and confident. Very far from that. But somewhere along the line, I started believing all those encouraging words that my parents were telling me about being strong, smart, and - as I become more like my mother - ALWAYS right.

There were hints of this as a young child. Let's take a peek at a little vignette of when I was about 6 years old, playing that classic Hasbro Game :"SORRY" with a few older kids...

"Karen, you picked that card, lucky you! Now you can take anyone else's guy and put yours there!"

Gee, this was fun. I could actually win over these big kids!

"Okay, now that you moved your guy, you have to say "SORRY" really loudly!!"

I thought, uh, I don't think so. Why should I say sorry? I didn't do anything wrong. I picked the sorry card and made the necessary move. It was part of the game.

So I said, "No. I'm not going to say sorry."

They all looked at each other and then the eldest said,

"But you have to Karen, it's in the rules." (*I just checked of course, and it isn't - almost 40 years later and it still smarts!)

I shook my head. No way was I going to say "SORRY" for doing everything right.

So they all started chanting "SOR-RY, SOR-RY, SOR-RY!!!!!!"

And I started to bawl.

I never did say sorry.

A tragic tale. To this day, it remains very hard for me to say I'm sorry.

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So the point of this story? Turns out my son has been a lunch monitor since the school year started. And apparently he rocks at it... so much so that when he mentioned that he might not continue into the next term, the Grade 2 class wrote him a bunch of "Thank You" cards.

Only they weren't so much 'Thank you" as "Sorry" cards (as in "Sorry I was loud", "Sorry I was bad", "Sorry I didn't listen")

I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it for myself.

I guess there is hope for the next generation.

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A Denouement:

I recounted my "sorry" boardgame tale to my brother and sister-in-law about a week before the holidays. My brother, being more than a few years younger than me, wasn't yet around to witness my traumatic experience firsthand. They were so enamoured with my story that for Christmas, lo and behold, they gave our family this...

Thanks little bro. You're so awesome.

A rabbit out of a hat

Hey-I'm on the other side. Four pokes to my midsection and I'm none the worse for wear. Well, relatively speaking anyway. Thanks for all your words of support-it really helped as I was surprisingly nervous. I suppose that even though it was day surgery it is still quite invasive and major in its own way, despite how common it is, particularly in women. My admitting nurse told me there was only one nurse in the surgery department that day who still had her gallbladder -amazing.

My surgery was delayed about an hour -something about a code red in the hospital (ie fire alarm) not allowing them to prep patients for surgery. Awww come onnnnnn -just kidding. But it was rather unnerving hearing this alarm go on and on and on for about 45 minutes before they moved me to the next "station". The worst part was when they took my glasses before leading me to the operating table -blind much??
Once they hooked me up to the anaesthetic and I took a couple of deep breaths I was out.

When I woke up I felt like I'd been hit by a Mack truck. I saw the other assisting doctor give me a thumbs up, saying "We got it all out-it was HUGE!". My doctor confirmed for Ian later that it was indeed "very large" but he didn't have to make the incision any bigger than usual. It's amazing what modern surgical techniques can accomplish these days. I don't even have stitches steri strips are what's holding the holes together. Amazing yet again. As the nurse told me it's like some sort of magic show -all done in the dark with cameras and video screens and presto out it comes. Sorry if it's TMI.

So it's done and I'm on the mend. Although it is incredible how everything is connected to your midsection. Something as simple as sleeping is even affected -I can't get used to sleeping on my back!

Did some work today but it's so deceptive-I feel almost normal, except for minor itching and pain (I weaned myself off oxycontin pretty quickly) but I'm so exhausted after just spending a couple hours on emails and budgets. It's tough to slow down after going at top speed for the last couple of years.

Yeah I know -I should milk it as long as I can! Skim milk, that is...

A Year in the Life of ...

So I stumbled on a wonderful idea by way of the brilliant Scary Mommy (who is not so scary in real life, in fact, she's a sweetheart)!

As we wind down the decade, why don't we look back at 2009, from my blog-eyed view? To say 2009 was a most eventful one, with the highest of highs, and the low, lowest of the lows would be a massive understatement. These aren't necessarily my best posts ever, but they do sum up the year for me.

Here we go:

January: Possibly the worst month of my life. Oh I know, a bit dramatic, but this was the month that I sprained my knee and had to do the helpless "damsel in distress thing" with ski patrol; suffered my second gall bladder attack (on purpose, because it was cheesecake and I deserved it because it had been such a shitty start to the year)...and lost my beloved Dad.

But at least I was able to pay tribute to him publicly without losing it: A Tribute to the most wonderful man.

February: Still in grief mode. But this is one of my favourite posts ever. It's why I'm here: Lucky.

March: I hit my 500th post this month. So I did the whole Q & A thing, which ate up several posts. I also participated in the ultimate blog party. "Everything you ever wanted to know about me" is another title for March 2009. However, I'll have to link to this post, because there are some awfully precious moments in life, and I'm so mature that way: AKA the converter.

April: My boy turned 9. And this post was my favourite of the month, because it just warms a mother's heart: Brothers and Sisters

May: Wow, this was the month of my bitch-rant! And I did get a whole lotta sympathy: Gimme Sympathy.

June: I came out to some Real Life friends about this ole' blog here...and also the answer to my May problems was starting to come to light. Coming out and the world not imploding; and the most important job.

July: Two syllables, one word. BlogHer. (Two days in the life, a few bottles at a time...) And here's further evidence:

(That's me with Courtney, Mrs. 4444 and Melissa)

I miss my party girls.

August: Thank goodness for my pal Mrs. 4444 and her Friday Fragments. The summer of my big life decisions was summed up on several Fridays. My anniversary was in there too, But here are my scattered thoughts which accurately describe my August, as I grappled with the whole SAHM versus Career Woman life shift - a pictorial as to why I suck as a crafty SAHM -see Barbie Exhibit A.

September: The leap back into the work force. Ready or not.

October: It was my birthday month. And I don't mind linking to pictures of me when I was much cuter: Birf-day girl.

November: I don't blog about the Man much, but sometimes I just have to. Especially my superior wife moments: We interrupt this blog post...

December: Well, after a rough year, I need a new one. This is a tired post, but the kids bring out the spirit of the holidays just when you need it. Elyse Mommy Da

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Wishing you all a fantastic, happy and healthy 2010!!!